Mawallafi: Laura McKinney
Ranar Halitta: 10 Afrilu 2021
Sabuntawa: 27 Oktoba 2024
Anonim
Jagora Mai farawa don Surrogate Abokin Ciniki - Kiwon Lafiya
Jagora Mai farawa don Surrogate Abokin Ciniki - Kiwon Lafiya

Wadatacce

Mun haɗa da kayayyakin da muke tsammanin suna da amfani ga masu karatu. Idan ka siya ta hanyoyin yanar gizo a wannan shafin, zamu iya samun ƙaramin kwamiti. Ga tsarinmu.

Kun san menene ma'anar jima'i, kuma wataƙila kun taɓa jin kalmar "maye gurbin," aƙalla dangane da jarirai da masu ciki. Amma idan kuna murƙushe waɗannan kalmomin guda biyu kuna son "???" ba ku kadai ba

Yawancin masu goyon baya ba su san abin da mataimakan jima'i suke ba.

Kuma mafi yawan waɗanda suke tunanin suna da shi hanya ba daidai ba, a cewar Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, da AASECT bokan ilimin likitancin, jima'i, da kuma lasisin aure da mai ba da magani dan Adam don AdamEve.com.

"Ba da gaske ba ne abin lalata da yawancin mutane ke tsammani."

Wannan shine dalilin da ya sa aka tura don fara kiran surrogacy "maye gurbin mataimaki" a maimakon haka, in ji Mark Shattuck, wani amintaccen abokin haɗin gwiwa kuma shugaban watsa labarai tare da Professionalungiyar Professionalwararrun Surwararrun Internationalwararrun (wararru ta Duniya (IPSA)


Don mahallin, an san IPSA a matsayin babbar jagora a cikin jima'i da kuma maye gurbin abokin tarayya tun daga 1973.

Menene?

Magungunan haɗin gwiwa, kamar yadda IPSA ta bayyana, dangantaka ce ta hanyar warkewa tsakanin mai ba da lasisi, abokin ciniki, da wanda zai maye gurbinsa.

An tsara shi don taimakawa abokin ciniki zama mafi dacewa da kusanci, lalata, jima'i da jima'i, da jikinsu.

Duk da yake wannan dangantakar iya ci gaba tare da kowane irin likita mai lasisi, Shattuck ya ce yawanci yana tare da mai ilimin jima'i.

Ya kara da cewa masu ba da ilimin jima'i suna da saurin budewa ga aikin maye gurbin fiye da yadda masu magungunan gargajiya suke.

Don haka, menene madogarar abokin tarayya, daidai?

Shattuck ya ce "Kwararren da ke amfani da tabawa, aikin numfashi, tunani, atisayen shakatawa, da horon sanin makamar aiki don taimaka wa abokin harkarsa ya cimma burinsu na musamman."

Wani lokaci - ya ce a cikin kwarewarsa kusan 15 zuwa 20 bisa dari na lokacin - surrogacy abokin tarayya ya hada da saduwa. "Amma wannan ya dogara ne da batun da abokin harka ke aiki a kai," in ji shi.


Dalilin duk wannan? Don bawa abokin ciniki sararin aminci don bincika da yin kusanci da jima'i a cikin ingantaccen yanayi.

Muhimmiyar sanarwa: Babu wani lokaci da mai ilimin hanyoyin kwantar da hankali ke kallo ko kuma ya shiga cikin abin da ke faruwa tsakanin mai maye gurbin abokin harka da abokin harka.

Shattuck ya ce: "Abokin ciniki yana ganawa da abokin aikinsu daban," in ji Shattuck. Amma abokin ciniki ya ba mai ilimin kwantar da hankali da abokin tarayya damar maye gurbin koren haske don tattaunawa da juna game da ci gaban su.

"Mai ilimin hanyoyin kwantar da hankali, abokin harka, da kuma abokiyar zama sun tattauna sosai kuma sau da yawa wani muhimmin bangare ne na nasarar maye gurbin abokin tarayya," in ji shi.

Wanene zai iya amfana?

Ba za ku iya samun damar maye gurbin abokin tarayya ba tare da kuna da lasisi mai ilimin lasisi, a cewar Shattuck.

Don haka gabaɗaya, in ji shi, “wanda ya fara aiki tare da abokiyar zama ya riga ya kasance cikin ilimin jima’i na fewan watanni ko fewan shekaru kuma har yanzu yana da aiki mai yawa da zai yi game da jin daɗin jima’i, ƙawance, saduwa, da jikinsu. . ”


Matsalolin da zasu iya ingiza abokin harka su bada shawarar cewa su hada abokin zama cikin tsarin warkewar su - ko kuma don mai ilimin kwantar da hankali ya ba da shawara iri daya ga abokin harka - daga kewayon zamantakewar jama'a gaba daya zuwa takamaiman lalata ko tsoro.

Wasu masu goyon baya waɗanda zasu iya cin gajiyar ikon warkarwa na maye gurbin abokin tarayya sun haɗa da:

  • rauni da zalunci waɗanda suka tsira
  • goyon baya tare da ɗan kaɗan ko babu ilimin jima'i
  • masu-azzakari masu fama da matsalar kuzari ko saurin kawo maniyyi
  • masu kamun ludayin mahaifa tare da al'aurar farji, ko wata matsalar nakasa daga ƙashin mara wanda zai iya haifar da alaƙa da zafi
  • mutanen da ke gwagwarmaya da karɓar jiki ko dysmorphia na jiki
  • mutanen da ke da damuwa ko tsoro musamman game da jima'i, kawance, da taɓawa
  • goyon baya tare da nakasa wanda ya sa ya zama mafi ƙalubale don yin jima'i

Abin takaici, saboda yawancin manufofin inshora ba su rufe farjin abokin tarayya (ko maganin jinsi, a game da wannan), da yawa daga cikin mutanen da za su iya amfana daga wannan yanayin warkarwa ba za su iya ba.

Sessionaya daga cikin zaman zama yawanci ana cin kuɗi ko'ina daga $ 200 zuwa $ 400 daga aljihu.

Ta yaya yake aiki?

Da zarar ku da likitan kwantar da hankalinku sun yanke shawarar maye gurbin abokin tarayya na iya amfanar ku, mai ba da ilimin jima'i na iya isa ga cibiyar sadarwar su na abokan haɗin gwiwa don taimaka muku samun damar daidaitawa.

Hakanan suna iya tuntuɓar Mai Gudanar da Aiwatar da IPSA don taimako don neman mai jinƙai, horarwa, ƙwararren abokin haɗin gwiwa wanda ya dace da bukatunku.

Shattuck ya yi kira da cewa a zamanin yau da yawa mataimakan aboki suna da dandamali na kan layi da kafofin watsa labarun, don haka idan ka yi tuntuɓe kan maye gurbin abokin tarayya kana tunanin zai iya zama dacewa a gare ka, kawo shi tare da mai ilimin jima'i.

Amma don yin aiki tare da wannan abokin aikin, duk mai ilimin likitancin ku da wanda zai maye gurbin sa hannun zasu sa hannu.

Daga can, "abokin ciniki da wanda zai maye gurbinsa za su hadu don sanin ko ya dace," in ji Shattuck.

Taron farko yana faruwa ne a cikin ofishin masu ilimin jima’i, amma duk tarurrukan da zasu biyo baya suna faruwa a wani wuri - yawanci a cikin ofishin maye gurbin, ko kuma gidan abokin harka.

"Kyakkyawan dacewa" ba a ƙaddara ta abubuwa kamar yadda kuka jawo hankalin ku ga maye gurbin ba, amma ta hanyar ji kamar za ku iya (ko ƙarshe iya) amince da su.

Yawancin lokaci, mai maye gurbin abokin tarayya da mai ilimin jima'i suna aiki tare don fito da tsarin magani bisa ga burin ku. Bayan haka, ku da wanda za ku maye gurbinku za ku yi aiki tare don cimma wannan buri.

Abubuwan da shirin magani zai iya haɗawa:

  • hada ido
  • tunani
  • mai da hankali hankali
  • motsa jiki
  • taswirar jiki
  • hanya daya ko tsiraicin juna
  • taɓa ɗaya ko biyu (ta sama ko ƙasa da tufa)
  • ma'amala (jagorantar ayyukan aminci-jima'i)

“Babu koyaushe, ko ma yawanci, ma'amala tsakanin wanda zai maye gurbinsa da abokin harkarsa, amma idan akwai, sai mu fara gina tushe na farko, "in ji Shattuck.

Maganin maye gurbin aboki ba abu ne daya-da-yi ba.

“Muna aiki tare sau daya a mako ko makamancin haka har sai abokin harka ya cimma burinsu. Wani lokacin hakan na daukar watanni, wani lokacin ma yakan dauki shekaru, ”in ji shi.

"Da zarar abokin harka ya cimma burinsa, muna da wasu zaman rufewa sannan kuma mu tura su cikin duniyar gaske!"

Shin wannan daidai yake da maganin jima'i?

Can may zama ɗan zoba, amma maye gurbin likita ba maganin jima'i bane.

Skyler ya ce "Fannoni daban-daban ne," in ji Skyler.

"Maganin jima'i wani nau'i ne na farfadowa wanda ke taimakawa mutum ko ma'aurata wajen tsara sakonni marasa kyau da gogewa domin taimaka musu wajen inganta lafiyar jima'i da dangantaka," in ji ta.

Yayinda abokan harka zasu iya samun aikin gida lokaci-lokaci - misali, taba al'aura, kallon batsa, ko yin Ee, A'a, Wataƙila jerin - maganin jima'i shine maganin magana.

Skyler ya ce "Babu wata hanyar mu'amala tsakanin mai ilimin jima'i da abokin harka," in ji Skyler.

Kulawa da abokin zama shine lokacin da mai ilimin jima'i yayi kira ga wani masani - ingantaccen abokin haɗin gwiwa - don zama cikin jiki, jima'i, ko soyayya tare da abokin harkarsu a waje na zaman jima'i.

Shin masu maye gurbin jima'i ne?

Shattuck ya ce "Yayin da muke tallafa wa masu yin lalata, ba mu dauki kanmu masu yin lalata ba." "Mun yi la'akari da kanmu masu ba da magani da magunguna."

Wasu lokuta akwai abubuwan sha'awa da abubuwan jima'i waɗanda ke tattare da lalata jima'i, amma burin shine warkarwa - ba lallai ba ne sakin jima'i ko jin daɗi.

Wannan kwatancen, ladabi da wakilcin Cheryl Cohen Greene, na iya taimaka:

Zuwa wurin mai yin jima'i kamar zuwa gidan abinci ne mai kyau. Kuna zaɓi abin da kuke so ku ci daga menu, kuma idan kuna son abin da kuka ci, za ku sake dawowa.

Yin aiki tare da abokiyar zama kamar ɗaukar darasi ne na girki. Ka tafi, ka koya, sannan kuma ka dauki abinda ka koya sannan ka koma gida ka dafa abincin wani…

Yaya ake haɗa ku da mai maye gurbin ku?

Yawancin lokaci, likitan ilimin jima'i zai gabatar da gabatarwar. Amma zaka iya amfani da wannan Maƙasudin Maɗaukaki na IPSA don nemo abokin tarayya a yankinku.

Shin ya halatta?

Tambaya mai kyau. A mafi yawan Amurkawa, biyan kuɗin jima'i haramtacce ne. Amma maye gurbin abokin tarayya bai zama daidai ba - ko kuma a'a koyaushe synonymous - tare da biyan kuɗi don jima'i.

"Babu wata doka da ta hana yin hakan," in ji Shattuck. "Amma kuma babu wata doka da ta tanadi cewa wannan ba laifi."

A wasu kalmomin, maye gurbin abokin tarayya ya faɗi a cikin yanki mai ruwan toka.

Amma, a cewar Shattuck, IPSA ta kasance sama da shekaru 45 kuma ba a taɓa gurfanar da ita ba.

Ta yaya wani zai zama abokin tarayya?

Skylar ta ce "Mai maye gurbin jima'i yana da muhimmiyar rawa ga abokin harka da ke bukatar su, amma ba sa bukatar ilimin ilimi ko na asibiti a cikin ilimin halayyar dan adam," in ji Skylar.

Shin hakan yana nufin kowa ya zama abokin tarayya? Nope.

"Wadanda ke aikin maye gurbin suna bukatar bin tsarin da'a da tabbatar da aiki, kamar IPSA," in ji ta.


A cewar Shattuck (wanda, a sake maimaitawa, yana da tabbacin IPSA), zama mai maye gurbin abokin aiki tsari ne mai dacewa.

"Akwai tsarin horarwa na makonni da yawa, sannan akwai tsarin koyon aikin da za ku yi aiki a karkashin wani amintaccen abokin tarayya, sannan idan / lokacin da aka ga kun shirya tafiya da kanku a matsayin abokin aikin da ya yi cancanta ya maye gurbinku, kuna yi."

IPSA ta kira wannan ta'aziyar tare da jikin mutum da jima'i, dumi, tausayi, jin kai, hankali, da kuma dabi'un rashin yanke hukunci game da zabin salon rayuwar wasu, ayyukan jima'i na yarda da juna, da kuma yadda ake gabatar da jima'i dukkannin abubuwan da ake bukata don zama abokiyar zama.

Layin kasa

Ga mutanen da dangantaka da juna, jima'i, jikinsu, da taɓawa sune tushen damuwa, tsoro, damuwa, ko damuwa, aiki tare da ƙungiyar masu ilimin kwantar da hankali (jima'i) da wanda zai maye gurbinsu na iya zama warkarwa mai ban mamaki.

Gabrielle Kassel marubuciya ce da ke zaune a New York kuma marubuciya ce ta lafiya kuma mai koyarwa na CrossFit Level 1. Ta zama mutumin safiya, an gwada ta sama da 200, kuma ta ci, ta sha, an kuma goge ta da gawayi - duk da sunan aikin jarida. A lokacin hutu, za a same ta tana karanta littattafan taimakon kai da kai da kuma littattafan soyayya, matsi a benci, ko rawa rawa. Bi ta akan Instagram.


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