Bayyanar da tatsuniyoyin da ke cewa Farjin Asiya ya fi tsauri

Wadatacce

• Don haka bari mu sanya tatsuniya don kwanciya
• Yawancin matan Asiya sun fara fuskantar wannan ƙirar ne lokacin da suka fara yin lalata da maza
• Sauran matan Asiya, duk da haka, suna ganin ƙarancin ra'ayi yana da matsala da damuwa.
• Amma labarin almara mai mutuwa ba yana nufin tasirin ya ɓace tare da shi

Babu wani tatsuniya da ta fi cutarwa sama da tsammanin samun matsewar farji.

Tun daga lokacin da nono yake yin laushi zuwa kafafuwa marasa laushi, mara gashi, ana yin lalata da mata koyaushe kuma ana fuskantar da ƙa'idodin da ba na gaskiya ba.

Kimiyya ta nuna cewa waɗannan akidu marasa amfani suna da lahani a kan ƙimar mata na ƙimar kansu. Koyaya, babu ɗayan da ya zama mai cutarwa, ko kuma wanda ba a bincika ba, kamar tsammanin samun farji mai kauri.

Vagwararrun farji suna da daraja a kusan kowace al'umma da al'adun da suka samo asali. An dauke su alamun budurci da tsabtar ɗabi'a, ya samo asali ne daga imanin cewa mata dukiya ne, don kasancewa ba a taɓa su ba sai dai idan mazajensu ne.

Amma a matakin farko, ana kuma kallon farji mai matsi a matsayin babban halayya mai kyau ga matan cis su mallake ta kawai saboda yana da daɗi da maza maza masu shiga ciki su shiga. Yin aikin tiyatar farji, samun “dinkunan miji,” har ma da aikin motsa jiki na Kegel mara kyau: Duk waɗannan al'adun sun samo asali ne daga imanin cewa farji masu matsewa sun fi kyau al'aura.

Kuma wannan salon kwatancen ya bayyana yana shafar mata musamman Asiya musamman.

'Yar wasan barkwanci Amy Schumer ta taɓa yin ƙoƙari ta yi barkwanci: “Babu damuwa abin da kuka yi, mata, kowane saurayi zai bar ku don matar Asiya… Kuma ta yaya za su kawo ta gida don cin nasara? Oh, mafi ƙarancin farji a cikin wasan. ”

Ya gaya mata cewa yana ganin 'yan matan Asiya sun fi kyau saboda al'aurarsu ta fi karfi.

Dokta Valinda Nwadike, MD kuma kwararriyar likitar mata da haihuwa a California, Maryland, na iya ganin yadda wannan tunanin yake, kuma da zuciya ɗaya ba su yarda da batun ba. “Gaskiya kar ku yi tunanin [matan Asiya masu ƙananan farji] gaskiya ne. Lallai zan yarda da wannan tunanin. Ba mu yanke shawara game da girman - ba mu da ƙididdigar Asiya. Wannan a cikin kansa zai musanta tatsuniya. Ya kamata a bar shi kwata-kwata. ”

Don haka bari mu sanya tatsuniya don kwanciya

Ba a san yadda wannan tatsuniya ta samo asali ba, amma da yawa suna zargin ta samo asali ne daga mulkin mallaka. Patricia Park, don Bitch Media, ya nuna wannan lalata ta hanyar Yaƙin Koriya da Vietnam, lokacin da Amurka ta kafa soja.

Dubban matan Asiya, gami da matan Thai da Filipina, aka yi fataucinsu da tilasta su zuwa karuwanci tare da fararen sojojin Amurka. (Abubuwan da ke faruwa a bayyane sun fi yawa a Thailand, inda aka haɓaka yawan yawon buɗe ido don biyan bashi.)

A sakamakon haka, farkon fararen fata da yawa da matan Asiya ya kasance ne a cikin yaƙin soja da mamayar jima'i.

A cikin Jaridar Phiungiyar Falsafa ta Amurka, Robin Zheng ya nuna cewa wannan tarihin ya tsara yadda mutane ke bi da matan Asiya a yau. Ra'ayoyin ra'ayoyi na Hollywood galibi suna shafawa matan Asiya a matsayin mai lalata, daga mace mai ƙasƙantar da kai-zuwa wahala ga China Doll da dragon lady, har sai sun haihu sun zama uwaye damisa. (Laburaren Kwalejin Kwalejin Kwalejin Kwalejin Kwalejin ta Ithaca ya ci gaba da sabunta jerin hotunan Asiya a cikin fina-finai, yana nuna yadda rawar ke iyakantuwa ga abin da ya shafi jima'i, 'yan daba, ko kuma share su gaba daya.)

Amma wata sabuwar hanyar da yawancin waɗannan maganganun ke ci gaba da bayyane a bayyane? Batsa, ƙasa ce da ke saurin zama tushen asalin ilimin jima'i ga matasa.

Wani saurayi fari dan shekara 27, wanda ya nemi a sakaya sunansa, ya bayyana yadda wannan hanyar ta kasance inda ya fahimci ra'ayin cewa matan Asiya suna da tsananin farji.

"Hotunan batsa suna taimakawa sosai ga wannan ra'ayin," in ji shi. “Akwai batutuwan batsa da yawa, alal misali, da za su haɗu tare da matan Asiya da kuma Baƙar fata maza, suna yin wasa da waɗancan batutuwa na lalata. Don haka, ina ganin cewa a dabi'ance wani abu ne da maza suka cusa masa cikin tunaninsu. "

Yawancin matan Asiya sun fara fuskantar wannan ƙirar ne lokacin da suka fara yin lalata da maza.

Koyaya, wannan almara ba kawai ta kewaya tsakanin maza da mata ba. Ko da mata suna ci gaba da wannan tunanin.

Jenny Snyder, 'yar shekara 27 mace' yar asalin Asiya kuma 'yar asalin Louisville, ta ce kawarta farar mace ta tambaye ta a makarantar sakandare idan farjinta yana gefe. "Ta zahiri ta tambaye ni idan farji na a kwance yake," in ji Snyder. "Ta kuma yi tunanin cewa fashewar gindina a kwance yake - kamar kunci ɗaya a kan wani."

Michelle Eigenheer, 'yar Koriya ta rabin-gari daga Louisville, Kentucky, ta tuno da gogewa inda likitan mata - wata farar fata - ta sauya zuwa wani tsari da galibi ake keɓe wa matasa a tsakiyar gwajin.

Eigenheer ya ce: "Mai yiyuwa ne ya fi dacewa da cewa na kasance cikin damuwa maimakon wani bambancin yanayin halitta." "Amma hakan ya bani mamaki - shin wannan gaskiyane?"

A matsayina na masanin ilimin likitan mata, Dr. Nwadike bai taba cin karo da bukatar sauya fasalin tunani ba. “Mai yiwuwa ne ba sa hulɗa da yawancin mutanen Asiya. Ya dogara da wanda yawansu ya kafa shi, wataƙila ba su da damar da za su ga abin da aka watsar, "in ji ta, bayan da aka tambaye ta dalilin da ya sa ta yi tunanin wannan tunanin ya ci gaba da wanzuwa, har ma a fannin likitanci. "Mutane da yawa suna tunanin cewa Baƙar fata maza suna da wasu sifofi, kuma wannan ba hujja ba ce, amma tunanin da ake yi ya ci gaba."

Yawancin matan Asiya sun fara fuskantar wannan ƙirar ne lokacin da suka fara yin lalata da maza

Grace Que, 'yar shekara 19 Ba'amurkiya Ba'amurkiya Ba'amurke daga Birnin Chicago, ta ce ta ji labarin "wasu mutane ne kawai ke jefa ta cikin al'adun gargajiya."

Amma ba ta dandana kanta ba har sai da ta fara yin jima’i.Abokan hulɗarta maza za su yi sharhi game da matse ta ta hanyar faɗan jimloli tare da layin, “Oh allahna, kun cika matsewa.”

Jennifer Osaki, ‘yar shekaru 23‘ yar asalin kasar Japan ‘yar asalin kasar Japan da ta tashi a birnin Los Angeles na jihar Kalifoniya, ita ma ta taba fuskantar irin wannan matsalar. Ta ji labarin rashin fahimta daga abokan aji maza a kwaleji, amma ba ta dandana kanta ba har sai da ta yi kwanan wata farar fata a shekara ta biyu.

Ya gaya mata cewa yana ganin 'yan matan Asiya sun fi kyau saboda al'aurarsu ta fi karfi.

Osaki ya ce "Na yi dariya ba da wasa ba saboda a wannan lokacin, na dauka abin alheri ne,"

Kuma hakika, lakabin samun farji mai matsi ya karbu sosai kuma ana ganin shi a matsayin "abu mai kyau" da yawa daga matan Asiya suma.

"Idan matsewar farji da gaske abu ne, ina fata ina da daya," in ji Que. “A bayyane yake cewa jima'i zai iya kasancewa da sha'awar wani mutum fiye da yadda yake a yanzu. Yawancin abokaina na kirki suna yawan faɗi cewa yana da kyau ƙwarai da gaske. ”

Kamar yadda yake adawa da farji mai matse jiki, farjin “sako-sako” yana hade da mata “mugayen” - matan da suke da abokan tarayya da yawa.

Zoe Peyronnin, wata mace Ba'amurkiya 'yar shekara 21 da ta tashi a New York, ta nuna irin wannan ra'ayin. Duk da yake ta nuna damuwa game da wannan yanayin na iya samun damar kara fahimtar matan Asiya, a karshe ta karkare da cewa, "Da kaina, ra'ayin kasancewa da matsi mai karfi yana da kyau, a kalla a jima'i."

Sauran matan Asiya, duk da haka, suna ganin ƙarancin ra'ayi yana da matsala da damuwa.

"Idan kuna da matsewar tsoka a can, wannan abin birgewa ne," in ji Phi Anh Nguyen, wata Ba'amurke 'yar Asiya Ba'amurkiya daga San Francisco, California. “Ina tsammani wannan wani abin alfahari ne. Koyaya, ɗaura wannan halayen ga matan Asiya don sanya su sha'awar jima'i ba abu bane mai ƙoshin lafiya. Yana hana mu. ”

Eigenheer ta ce ba ta jin dadi sosai lokacin da maza a kan Tinder suke amfani da ita azaman layin budewar su, ko kuma a bi da ita daban ta hanyar wani tunani da aka riga aka fahimta game da matsewar farjinta.

"Suna kawai son sabon salo," in ji ta. “Amma a zahiri, suna ciyarwa cikin tsarin da ke matukar cutar da mata. Wannan tsattsauran ra'ayi ya samo asali ne daga akidoji masu yawa na wariyar launin fata da mata ke fama da shi. ”

Burin samun farji mai matsi har yanzu yana da ƙarfi sosai a duk faɗin ƙasar - kuma ana iya cewa, duniya - tana shafar mata a ko'ina.

"Akwai wannan hangen nesan na son matse farji," in ji Dokta Nwadike. Kodayake ba ta da marassa lafiyar Asiya da ke yanke shawara kan kiwon lafiya bisa ga wannan tsattsauran ra'ayi, ta ci karo da wasu jinsi suna yin fatawa dangane da tatsuniyoyin farji mai matse jiki. "Na taba samun matan Gabas ta Tsakiya suna so su sanya farjinsu karfi, suna son tiyatar kwalliya saboda mijinta ya nemi hakan."

Kwatanta kwatankwacin tsananin farjin Asiya da irin yanayin mara na farji mara kyau. A matsayin antithesis na farji matsattse mai tamani, farjin “sako-sako” yana da alaƙa da mata “mugayen” - matan da ke da abokan tarayya da yawa.

"Babu wata mace da ke son matsewa sosai," in ji Eigenheer. “Yana da zafi! Dukan sabon abu na ‘matsatsin farji’ yana cikin zafin mace - jin daɗin namiji saboda rashin jin daɗin mace. ”

Ana amfani da wannan ra'ayi sau da yawa don kunya, kamar lokacin da wata mace Kirista ta kwatanta farjin Taylor Swift da sandwich na ham don nuna cewa tana da lalata. Kuma furucin wulakanci "jefa mai zafi zafi a farfajiyar" ya kuma nuna cewa farjin mata na miƙewa bayan an gama jima'i da yawa.

Matsalar, duk da haka, ita ce cewa wannan tatsuniyoyin farji, tare da yawancin sauran tatsuniyoyin farji, ba shi da tushe cikin kimiyya.

Ilimin kimiyya yana nunawa lokaci-lokaci cewa sakin fuska da farji bashi da dangantaka ko yaya da lalata. Har ila yau, babu wani nazarin da yake kwatanta farjin mutanen Asiya da sauran kabilun.

Mutane da yawa da na yi magana da su kuma sun ce da alama babu wata hujja ta kimiyya game da wannan ƙirar. Nguyen ya ce "Mata suna zuwa da siffofi iri-iri."

Koyaya, tunda wannan tatsuniyar ta dogara ne akan ƙwarewar mutum, wanda yake da ma'ana sosai, za'a samu wasu, kamar bafararren ɗan shekaru 27 da ba a sanshi ba, wanda ya dage cewa zancen "tabbas gaskiya ne."

"A cikin kwarewa na, na tarar an tabbatar da shi gaskiya lokaci-lokaci cewa matan Asiya suna da al'aurar farji," in ji shi. "Ina iya cewa sun fi matan sauran kabilu karfi."

A gefe guda, Eigenheer yana da kwarewar kansa wanda ke nuna akasin haka.

"A cikin kwarewata, wannan ba gaskiya ba ne," in ji ta. “Babu wani mutum da ya taba gaya min cewa farji na ya bambanta da na wani. Kuma magana da wasu matan Asiya, ina tsammanin za su faɗi abu ɗaya. "

Irene Kim, wata Ba'amurke 'yar shekaru 23' yar asalin Amurka daga New Jersey, ta yarda, tana mai ƙin yarda da wannan ƙirar. Ta ce ba shi yiwuwa ya zama gaskiya a duk faɗin ga duk matan Asiya.

Kim ya ce: "Ba za ku iya yin alama da duka alƙaluma tare da ma'anar halayya irin wannan ba," in ji Kim. "Idan ba gaskiya ba ne ga kowace mace 'yar Asiya, to bai kamata a yi magana game da ita ba."

Baya ga rashin tushe a cikin gaskiyar kimiyya, wannan kwatankwacin jima'i ma cutarwa ne domin yana nanata mahimmancin jin daɗin namiji yayin kashe mata ciwo.

"Babu wata mace da ke son matsewa sosai," in ji Eigenheer. “Yana da zafi! Dukan sabon abu na ‘matsatsin farji’ yana cikin zafin mace - jin daɗin namiji saboda rashin jin daɗin mace. ”

Don haka, ba abin mamaki bane tatsuniya cewa matan Asiya suna da farji masu matsi suna da matsala game da mata a wajen jama'ar Asiya kuma. Karatun yana kara nuna cewa mata cis suna jin zafi (kimanin kashi 30 a cikin Amurka) lokacin da suka shiga cikin jima'i.

Abin sha'awa, akwai wasu matan Amurkawa Asiya - musamman wadanda ke kusa da shekaru 18 zuwa 21 da ke zaune a manyan biranen bakin teku - waɗanda ba su taɓa jin labarin wannan tatsuniyar ba.

"Wannan wani abu ne?" ta tambayi Ashlyn Drake, 'yar shekara 21,' yar asalin kasar Sin bahaushe daga New York. "Ban taɓa jin wannan ba kafin."

Amma labarin almara mai mutuwa ba yana nufin tasirin ya ɓace tare da shi

A sauri google search na "m farji tseren" kuma Yanã zo da dama zaren debunking wannan labari. Abin baƙin cikin shine, maimakon jefa ra'ayin gaba ɗaya, waɗannan zaren - daga 2016 - suna amfani da ƙanana da ƙarancin karatu (waɗanda ke mai da hankali kan jinsi uku da rashin fitsari) don sake mayar da hankalin tabarau akan matan baƙi maimakon.

Babu wani dalili da zai sa a yi babban nazari game da kabilu da farji. Me yasa wani zaiyi nazarin hakan kuma menene amfanin sa? Inji Dr. Nwadike. Ta ambaci yadda akwai wasu alamomi masu yawa na girman ƙwanƙwasa fiye da launin fata, kamar nau'in jiki, shekaru, da haihuwa. “Akwai masu canji da yawa da za su iya yin bayani mai fadi. Idan ka duba girman, wannan ma'auni ne kawai. Ina kimanta mutum ne ba irin tunanin da ake da shi ba. ”

Tambayar, sabili da haka, ba ko gaskiyar matan Asiya ne ainihin suna da farji masu ƙarfi fiye da matan wasu ƙabilu ba.

Samun tattaunawar "wane tsere" yana da matukar damuwa kuma yana ƙara rage darajar mata a matsayin humanan Adam zuwa gamsuwa ta jima'i da zasu iya samarwa ga maza (sau da yawa saboda jin daɗin su da jin daɗin su).

Musamman idan har yanzu akwai sauran karatu da rahotanni na mata waɗanda suke yin jima'i da gangan don farantawa maza rai.

Madadin haka - lokacin da tatsuniya a halin yanzu ke da iko da cutarwa fiye da taimako - tambayar da ya kamata mu yi ita ce, me ya sa farjin mata yake da mahimmanci?

Nian Hu marubuciya ce wacce ta yi rubuce rubuce game da harkokin kasuwanci, Babe, Feministing, kuma Mun Tsaya. Kuna iya samun ta akan Twitter.