Kuna Samun Ranar Bitch?

Wadatacce

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Maniac mai zafin hanya tana kukan batsa a kan hanyar sadarwa, har da yaran ta a kujerar baya. Wata mace ta yanke a gabanka a layi, idan ka fuskanci ta, ta ce maka ka yi kuskure.

Mutane da yawa, ga alama, ba sa tsoron sakin kwanakin nan, ko sun saki fushinsu a kan waɗanda suka cancanci baƙi mara kyau, abokan haɗin gwiwa ko kuma abokan aikin da suka firgita. Labari mai dadi ga mata shine cewa a ƙarshe an 'yantar da mu daga matsalolin shekaru da suka wuce don zama kamar mace (karanta: babu ihu) kuma muna magana, da ƙarfi da bayyane. Amma a cikin wannan post grrrl-power zamanin, muna samun ko'ina tare da bayyana fushin mu?

Wannan ya dogara. "Wanda ba a sarrafa shi fushi hanya ce marar amfani sosai ga mata don samun abin da suke so a rayuwa, "in ji Susan Heitler, Ph.D., masanin ilimin halayyar ɗan adam a Denver kuma marubucin littafin. Ikon Biyu (Sabuwar Harbinger, 1997). "Haushin da bai dace ba yana tayar da mutane don su ji karfi, kuma a gaskiya ma suna ba da tasiri mai karfi idan suka yi fushi. Amma da kyau za su ci nasara a yakin kuma za su yi rashin nasara a yakin."

Yayin da fushi ke samun mata da yawa abin da suke so a cikin ɗan gajeren lokaci, a cikin dogon lokaci yana haifar da rashin girmamawa da bacin rai. Heitler, wanda ya yi aiki tare da ma'aurata waɗanda ke ƙoƙarin warware matsalolin aure kuma ya samar da bidiyon da ake kira "Angry Couple," ya sami tsarin maimaitawa tsakanin abokan ciniki. Heitler ya ce "abokiyar mace ta yi ta zage-zage ba ta dace ba, kuma mijin ya janye."

Sau da yawa, in ji Heitler, mata suna yin koyi da misalin iyayensu mata na kamun kai -- har sai sun kasa ɗauka, sannan suka fashe.

Maganin mataki na 4

Maimakon barin fushi ya rinjaye ku, kunna shi cikin aiki. Na gaba lokacin da aka kashe ku, yi amfani da fushi a kusurwar ku. Alal misali, ƙila ka yi fushi da abokin tarayya don janyewa zuwa TV bayan cin abinci da ka yi. Kafin ka ce wa kanka (ko shi), "Shi Neanderthal ne marar tunani wanda a fili yake tunanin in jira shi," gwada waɗannan matakan:

1. Yi la'akari da fushi a matsayin alamar tsayawa. "Muna iya fuskantar fushi a matsayin koren haske don yin aiki nan da nan," in ji Heitler. Da sauri zuciyarka ke tsere, sannu a hankali hankalinka yana haɗa guda - ba za ka iya tunani sosai ba. Tsaya kuma ba da ma'anar dalilin lokaci don cim ma ji.

2. Samun bayanai da fahimta. Ka yi ƙoƙarin cire abin da ke faruwa. Wataƙila yana bin misalin mahaifinsa kuma bai yi tunanin wata hanya ba.

3. Ka gane, me nake so?" Tambayi kanka me ke cin ka. Yi amfani da amsar don samar da amsa mai ma'ana. Wataƙila abin da kuke so shi ne ya gode muku don abincin, ko ku yi jita-jita, ko kuma ku yi su tare.

4. Nemo hanya mai inganci da mutunci don samun ta. Da zarar kun san abin da kuke so, ɗaga batun a cikin al'ada, sautin muryar ku mai daɗi.

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