Wannan Hanyar Matakai 5 Zata Taimaka muku Canza Ƙirar Tashin Hankali

Wadatacce

• Menene Hanyar Canza Motsi, Daidai?
• Yadda Aka Kirkiri Hanyar
• Me Ya Sa Shi Musamman
• Abin da Masu Magunguna suke Tunani Game da Canjin Mai tada hankali Hanyar
• Bita don

Kuna neman karin tono cikin duniyar tunanin ku a cikin 2021? Mutane da yawa (musamman waɗanda ba su riga sun fara jinya ba) suna da wahalar samun dama ga motsin rai da gano inda wasu abubuwa ke fitowa. Tinamarie Clark - abin ƙira, uwa, kuma yanzu marubuci - yana so ya canza wannan.

Clark ya kirkiro Hanyar Shift Stirrer a matsayin wata hanya don samun damar motsin rai mai wahala da murkushe abubuwan da ke haifar da motsin rai, kuma bayan amfani da ita da kanta tsawon shekaru ashirin, ta juya ta zama littafin aikin da take rabawa tare da talakawa.

Menene Hanyar Canza Motsi, Daidai?

Hanyar Shift Stirrer tana amfani da hanyar tunani na matakai biyar na Clark don "canza tsarin tunani mara kyau da iyakance imani zuwa mafi ƙarfafawa." Dukan makasudin shine ƙarfafa mata don haɗa zurfin zurfi da kansu da sauransu, in ji Clark.

Ana samun hanyar don siyarwa a cikin sigar littafin aiki (ko dai ta lambobi ko ta zahiri) - kuma an rarraba ta zuwa sassa biyar tare da faɗakarwa. Anan ne na asali, rushewar dabarun mataki-mataki:

• Tada: Yi la'akari da cewa akwai tashin hankali a cikin ku kuma ku gina sanin kanku a kusa da shi. Gano abin da kuke ji kuma sanya kalmomi gare shi (fushi, fushi, damuwa, kunya, bacin rai, rashin haƙuri, m, tsaro, da sauransu).
• Zauna: Zauna tare da abin da kuke ji kuma ku lura da abin da ke zuwa muku. Ƙirƙiri sarari don zama kawai. Ba da lokaci don yin komai. Kasance cikin kwanciyar hankali tare da jin daɗi.
• Tashi: Yi la'akari da ainihin abin da ke faruwa a cikin zuciyarka da jikinka, da irin tunanin da kake ciki game da abin da ya faru ko yadda kake ji. Kawo tunani mai albarka a gaba kuma ka bar kuzari mara kyau. Wannan shine lokacin da kuka ɗauki cikakken ikon mallakar abubuwan da kuka kawo a cikin labarin. (Ka yi tunani: murdiya ta hankali, labaran karya, karkatattun tunani - tacewa, son zuciya, ko kayan da kuke kawowa ga gwaninta.)
• Raba: Raba tsokacin ku da kuma tace labarin ta hanyar ba da labari na gaskiya. Menene aka saukar a cikin sift? Clark yana ƙarfafa ku don zaɓar wanda kuka dogara da gaske lokacin rabawa.
• Canji: Kafa ingantacciyar haɗi. Lokacin da kuka raba gaskiyar ku, kuna buɗe ƙofar don sauyawa. Yi lissafin abubuwan da kuka koya a wannan tsari. Yi farin ciki da abin da kuka yi kuma ku amince da aikin da ya shiga ciki.

Yadda Aka Kirkiri Hanyar

Clark za ta kasance mutum na farko da zai gaya maka cewa ita ba likita ba ce - amma ta samo hanyar da ta dace da ita, kuma tana son raba hakan tare da wasu. Abin da ta rasa a cikin shaidodin da ta cika da gogewar rayuwa, sha’awa, tausayi, da kuzari na musamman (wanda, TBH, za ku ji nan take lokacin da kuke hira da ita). Idan kun taɓa samun ɗaya-kan-daya tare da aboki, 'yar'uwa, ko mai ba da shawara wanda ke da wannan "tsohuwar ruhu" makamashi - wanda ya bar ku yana jin ƙauna da ƙarfafawa - abin da yake kama da haɗi tare da Clark. Tana kama da abokiyar da ta ga wasu sh *t, ta sha kashi da yawa, kuma tana ba ku juriya.

Ta girma a cikin Sashe na 8 gidaje a Philadelphia a cikin iyali marassa galihu, Clark ya kwatanta tarbiya mai wuyar gaske wanda dole ne ta "sama da kanta a hankali" don ta tsira. Wani ɓangare na wannan hanyar ita ce koyan “ajiye takobi da ɗauke sulke,” in ji ta.

Lokacin da Clark ya fara aikin yin tallan kayan kawa, tana da ɗan lokacin da ya haɓaka wannan tsari; ta rasa aiki bayan sabani da wata matashiyar samari kuma ta fahimci dole ne ta gano abin da ke sa ta rasa sanyin ta cikin sauƙi. Ta ce mahaifiyarta ta ƙarfafa ta ta duba cikin ciki, kuma ƙananan ɓangarorin wannan hanyar sun fara kyalkyali. Ta hanyar yin nata sigar motsawa, zama, rarrabuwa, rabawa, da canzawa, ta sami canjin mutum. A matsayinta na babba, ta fahimci cewa tana da wani abu mai ƙarfi da za ta iya rabawa tare da wasu, kuma bayan yin aiki tare da koci a cikin 'yan shekarun da suka gabata, ta yanke shawarar cewa ba ta son ta riƙe kanta. Don haka, an haifi ra'ayin littafin aiki.

Me Ya Sa Shi Musamman

Kafin in yi magana da Clark, ƙungiyar ta ba ni damar yin amfani da littafin aikin Hanyar Shift Stirrer. Kuma in kasance mai cikakken gaskiya, ban so in yi ba. Ba wai ban yi farin ciki da yin aikin jarida ba, bincike na motsin rai, ko bincike kan sabon tsarin lafiyar kwakwalwa, amma son zuciya da kwakwalwa a zahiri sun ƙi wannan ra'ayin. Akwai girmamawa a cikin wannan hanyar akan "mallakar da mummuna," da kuma yin lissafin abin da ƙila za ku iya riƙewa. Dole ne ku tono cikin abubuwan da ba sa jin girma sosai, kuma rashin sani na na ƙi wannan aikin mara daɗi ya bayyana cikin jinkiri mai yawa.

Amma wannan a zahiri wani ɓangare ne na sihiri a cikin yin wannan aikin - kuma, a cewar Clark, babban martani ne na al'ada. "Ba da damar zama tare da ɗumbin motsin zuciyar da ba a goge su ba wani aiki ne na ƙarfin hali," in ji ta. "Wannan ba aiki bane mai sauƙi." (Mai dangantaka: Dalilin da yasa kuke jin Jiki kamar Shit Bayan Jiyya, Bayanin Lafiya na Hankali)

Clark ya kwatanta ra'ayin cire makamai na motsin rai tare da alamar Samurai yayin matakin "zama" na hanyar. "An horar da sojojin Samurai don kada su kasance cikin matsayi na mika wuya," in ji ta. "Amma a shayi tare da shugabannin al'ummarsu, suna zaune a wani wuri da ake kira seiza. Ta haka, samurai ba zai iya yin gaggawar zana takobinsa ba; suna zaune a wurin mika wuya, ba tare da kariya ba."

Zama cikin tsokana, ƙonawa, ko raɗaɗi mara kyau ba tare da amsawa ba shine burinta tare da wannan lokaci na hanyar. Ta bayyana. "Na san yadda ['takobin' '] zai iya ɓarna, da kuma yadda girman kai na zai iya ƙoƙarin ƙoƙarin kare ni - amma na gaji da tsaftace [sakamakon] daga fitar da takobi da sauri koyaushe."

Idan amsawar motsin rai wani abu ne da kuke kokawa da shi ko kuma idan kun sami kanku a cikin maimaita alamu, wannan matakin na hanyar zai iya zama taimako musamman. Clark ya ce "Muna ɗaukar labarai daga baya, kuma muna kwafa da liƙa su; muna jujjuya su cikin yanayin mu da dangantakar mu ta yanzu," in ji Clark.

Misali, ta tsinci kanta a cikin tsarin maimaitawa tare da abokiyar da ta kira "No-Show Chlo." Ta kwatanta kawarta (wanda take ƙauna) a matsayin mai laushi kuma ba ta sa lokaci ko ƙoƙari don ganinta ba. Daga ƙarshe, ta gane cewa ba ta da hauka a Chloe - ta fitar da farin cikinta, kuma tana fuskantar ƙayyadaddun imani cewa idan wannan aboki ba ta bayyana ba, yana nufin ba ta son ta. (Mai Alaƙa: Alamomin Kuna Cikin Abokin Zama)

Da zarar ta yi aikin zama cikin motsin zuciyarta, tana tambayar dalilin da yasa ta ji haka, sai ta "saukar da [Chloe] na aikinta na zama wani abu, sannan ta ƙara yin magana da ni," in ji Clark. "Ya canza alakar mu ta asali." Wannan wani yanayi ne da aka maimaita daga jin rashin cancanta lokacin da take girma wanda ta shiga balaga cikin rashin sani.

Clark ta koya wa kanta sanya takobi da cire kayan yaƙi, kuma ta raba hanyar ta don yin hakan a Hanyar Shift Stirrer, don haka kowa zai gwada shi da kansa.

Abin da Masu Magunguna suke Tunani Game da Canjin Mai tada hankali Hanyar

Gabaɗaya, wannan mujallar babbar mafari ce ga aikin motsa jiki, in ji masanin ilimin halayyar ɗan adam Jennifer Musselman, MA, L.M.F.T., wanda ya kafa Cibiyar Musselman don Jagorancin Jagoranci da Aure. A duniyar warkewa, wannan kamar koyon ABC ne. "Yana da kyau, matakin farko na farko don wayar da kan jama'a ko ci gaba, musamman ga waɗanda ba su yi wani ci gaba na sirri ba ko magani," in ji ta.

Gabaɗaya, mutane da yawa ba su da kyau wajen ganowa da sarrafa motsin rai-musamman ma marasa kyau, in ji Elizabeth Cohen, Ph.D., ƙwararren masanin ilimin likitanci na ƙwararru a cikin ilimin fahimi-halayyar ɗabi'a. Wannan nau'i na aikin jarida, tunani, da gano kai yana da kyau a lokacin COVID, kuma musamman a cikin gajeriyar ranakun sanyi da sanyi lokacin da mutane da yawa sukan ji keɓe, kaɗaici, har ma da baƙin ciki, in ji ta.

Cohen ya ce Hanyar Shift Stirrer tana tunatar da ita game da "shirin dawo da AA," saboda "kina ɗaukar lissafin abin da kuka yi, da kuma yadda za ku so ku canza," in ji ta. "Kuna kallon abin da suke kira halinku 'nakasu' - kalma mai ban tsoro - kuma kuyi tunani. Wannan tunanin kai yana da kyau sosai, kuma abota da motsin zuciyarku (da kuke fuskanta) yana da kyau sosai." Ta yi tsokaci cewa irin wannan "karbuwa da alƙawarin farkawa shine tushen tushen shaida don damuwa da bacin rai."

Wannan yana ba da "hanyar gayyata don taimaka wa mutane su sami fahimta game da ci gaba da tsarin dangantakar rikice-rikice (ko CCRP)," in ji masanin ilimin halayyar ɗan adam Forrest Talley, Ph.D., wanda ya kafa Invictus Psychological Services a Folsom, CA. CCRP ra'ayi ne da ake amfani da shi don yin bimbini da kuma nazarin tsarin alaƙar ma'amala tsakanin mutum (a cikin sharuddan Clark, wannan shine ainihin "kwafa da liƙa," halaye). Talley ya kuma ce ya burge shi da farko da ya karanta mujallar Clark saboda "ta mai da hankali kan jagoranci mai hankali (zabar rikici sannan kuma ya bar shi ya shiga cikin tunani kamar dai fim ne), tare da matakan da aka tsara a fili don dubawa."

"Duk waɗannan sun same ni a matsayin mai kyau, jagora mai ƙarfi," in ji Talley. "Bugu da ƙari, rubuce-rubucen a sarari yake kuma yana da ma'ana kuma takaddun ayyukan suna ba da ra'ayoyi masu sa tunani."

Yayinda duk masu warkarwa uku suka amince da ra'ayin littafin aikin SSM a matsayin matakin farko, duk sun yarda cewa yakamata ku ci gaba da taka tsantsan idan kun sami rauni. "Akwai babban T da ƙaramin T," in ji Musselman. "Babban T kamar fyade ne, yaƙi, da dai sauransu. Wataƙila wannan littafin aikin zai sake ɓarna da wani tare da Babban T. Yana kuma dora laifin a kan mai karatu, kamar dai duk abin da suka gaskata, motsin rai, sannan sakamakon abubuwan da suka haifar ƙarya ne. Wannan kyakkyawa ce mai ɓarna. ga waɗanda abin ya shafa. Ƙananan 't' [kamar matsalar kuɗi ko shari'a, saki ko ɓarna mai rauni, da sauransu.

Cohen yana ba da irin wannan ɗaukar cewa "a matsayin mai ilimin hanyoyin kwantar da hankali wanda ke aiki tare da rauni, mun bar mutane su shiga abin da ba ya aiki da abin da suke son gyara, amma koyaushe muna sa su cikin abin da suke yi da kyau," in ji ta. "Ta wannan hanyar, wannan ba a ɗaure sosai ba, kuma [ga waɗanda suka sami rauni], zan ƙarfafa wani irin tunani kan yadda kuka zo."

Ta wannan hanyar, Dokta Talley ya yi imanin wannan na iya zama babban littafin aikin abokin aiki don ƙarin ƙarin fahimta - kamar ta hanyar ingantaccen magani, ko shirin haɗin gwiwa.

Idan kuna da gogewa tare da farfajiya, musamman ilimin halayyar ɗabi'a, Musselman ya ce wannan zai ji daɗi sosai. Idan ba ku yi ba, "kowa ya fara wani wuri," in ji ta, ta lura cewa yana da mahimmanci a jaddada cewa wannan ba maye gurbin magani bane.

Dangane da jaridu, wannan yana da ƙarfi sosai. Ƙarfin kuzari, tunani, da ƙauna da Clark ya kawo cikin sa suna yin kyakkyawar hanya (ko da tauri ce!), Kuma lokacin da aka haɗa su da wani magani ko jagorar asibiti, wannan na iya zama cikakkiyar canji a cikin aikin motsin zuciyar ku.

Bita don