Hanyoyi 9 don Jima'i Dangantakarku

Wadatacce

• Soyayya Mai Hatsari
• Yuk It Up
• Motsa Matsalolin Jima'i
• Buga Gidan wasan kwaikwayo na Fim
• Yi Tsirara Kawai
• Raba Kayan Wasanku Tare Da Shi
• Tura Zuciyarsa Mai Kazanta
• Ciyar da Burinku
• Yi Duba Libido
• Bita don

A cikin 'yan watannin farko, ku biyu ba za ku iya cire hannayenku daga juna ba kuma kuna yin shi a ko'ina da ko'ina. Yanzu? Kin fara mantawa da yadda yake kallon tsirara.

A wani bincike da cibiyar inganta lafiyar jima'i ta gudanar, kimanin kashi 10 cikin 100 na matan aure masu shekaru 30 da kuma kashi 17 cikin 100 na wadanda suka kai shekaru 40 ba su yi jima'i ba a cikin kwanaki 90 da suka wuce, kuma adadin ma'auratan da ke zaune tare ya kai ma. mafi girma. Duk da yake yana da tabbacin cewa ba kai kaɗai ba ne, yawancin ma'aurata suna yin kuskuren fassarar da ke canzawa daga mahaukaci, sha'awar wutar lantarki zuwa kwanciyar hankali, kwantar da hankula kamar yadda "babu ƙauna" lokacin da, a gaskiya, suna motsawa cikin zurfi, ƙauna mai dabi'a. , wanda shine inda soyayya ta gaskiya ta fara kamawa, in ji Ava Cadell, Ph.D., wanda ya kafa Jami'ar Loveology kuma mai magana da yawun TheExperienceChannel.com. Maganar sinadarai, kwakwalwa tana fitar da oxytocin, hormone "cuddle", wanda ke ɗaukar naushi biyu ta hanyar samar da yanayin shakatawa yayin da yake rage damuwa da matakan cortisol a cikin jiki. Matsalar ita ce, sakamakon aminci, motsin rai na ta'aziyya ba shi da ban sha'awa sosai.

Laurie J. Watson, ƙwararriyar likitan ilimin jima'i kuma marubucin littafin ya ce: "Mata suna karaya kuma suna asirce game da dalilin da yasa ba su da sha'awa, amma za su iya samun kyakkyawan sha'awar rayuwarsu gaba ɗaya." Sake Son Jima'i: Yadda Zaka Sake Gano Sha'awarka da Warkar da Aure Mara Jima'i. Tabbas, jima'i bazai sake zama mahaukaci na farko ba (ba za ku taɓa yin wani abu ba!), Amma yin mulkin wadancan harshen wuta yana ɗaukar ɗan ƙoƙari da ƙira.

Soyayya Mai Hatsari

Idan kun yi tsalle don fitar da motoci masu sauri, hau mahaukaci dogayen nadi, kuma kuyi duk wani abu da yake jin kamar "rayuwa a gefen," haɗa wannan adrenaline a cikin rayuwar jima'i. Baya ga samar muku da kuzari na ɗan lokaci don magance duk wani yanayi mai wahala da kuke fuskanta, adrenaline yana haɓaka sha'awar jima'i. A zahiri, bincike daga Jami'ar Texas, ya gano cewa hau kan abin hawa zai iya taimakawa ƙara tashin hankali.

Duk da yake jima'i ba daidai ba ne (ko kuma bai kamata ya zama) yanayin "tauri" ba, za ku iya tsara kwanan wata mai ban sha'awa wanda zai sa jinin ku ya tashi yayin da tufafinku ke kan, kamar tafiya zuwa wurin shakatawa ko tafiya dutse. yin keke, ko kalubalanci kanku a hutunku na gaba don ba da layin zip ko nutsewar ruwa. "Maɗaukakin" da kuka dandana zai iya ɗauka zuwa ɗakin kwana.

Yuk It Up

An kwatanta dariya a matsayin "mafi ƙanƙanta tazara tsakanin mutane biyu" (Victor Borge), amma kuma ita ce mannewar zamantakewar da ke ƙarfafa dangantakarmu da wasu. Cadell ya ce "Hujjojin kimiyya sun nuna cewa dariya nan take ta haɗu da tsarin limbic a cikin kwakwalwa tsakanin mutane biyu," in ji Cadell. "Dariya tana kaiwa ga sha'awa yayin da ma'aurata ke bayyana motsin rai da ba a hana su ba kuma suna jin daɗin jin daɗi a cikin zukatansu da jikunansu yayin da suke ƙara haɗin gwiwa da amincewa."

Zaɓi wani abu da kuka sani zai fasa ku duka-fim ɗin da kuka fi so, salon wasan ban dariya-kuma ku yi ƙoƙari ku shiga ko dai tare sau da yawa. Ko kuma ku ɗan ɗanɗana ɗanɗano yayin wasan ƙwallon ƙafa kuma ku fara yi masa shisshigi a wannan wurin mai rauni a gefen sa.

Motsa Matsalolin Jima'i

Ba wai kawai kegels suna da kyau ga sassan uwargidanmu ba, idan kun sanya tsokoki na ƙwanƙwasa ta hanyar horo na yau da kullun kamar yadda kuke yin hannayenku akai-akai, wataƙila za ku sami inzali mai ƙarfi (kuma na yau da kullun). Motsa jiki na Kegel yana aiki da tsokoki na pubococcygeus (PC) - waɗanda ke da alhakin raunin da kuke ji lokacin da kuka ƙare. "Ƙarfafa waɗannan za su 'ƙarfafa riko' a lokacin jima'i da kuma haifar da ƙarin matsananciyar damuwa, haɓaka ƙwarewar ku gaba ɗaya," in ji Traci Statler, Ph.D., memba na kwamitin ba da shawara na likita na Lelo da Intimina. Kuma yana tsaye ga tunanin cewa idan inzali ne, ahem, yana zuwa cikin sauƙi, sha'awar jima'i (da jima'i tare da mutumin ku) tabbas zai ƙaru. Shi ma zai ji daɗinsa: Yayin da kuke ƙara ƙarfi, kwangilar na iya ƙara masa ƙarfi, tare da matsewa na iya taimakawa wajen jinkirta fitar maniyyi da wuri.

Don masu farawa, Statler yana ba da shawarar ƙarfafa tsokoki na PC yayin da kuke numfashi (don ƙarin cikakkun bayanai, duba yadda ake yin kegels), riƙe ƙanƙara na tsawon daƙiƙa 5 zuwa 10, sannan a sakewa na lokaci guda. Yi aiki har zuwa maimaita 10 a lokaci ɗaya, kuma yi nufin saiti uku a rana.

Da zarar kun gina juriya, zaku iya haɓaka aikinku na yau da kullun tare da ƙwallan motsa jiki marasa nauyi. "Sakawa da kuma riƙe na'urar za ta motsa tsokar PC ɗin don yin kwangila, ta yadda zai haifar da ƙara ƙarfi da jimiri," in ji Statler.

Ta ba da shawarar Lelo's Luna Beads (samuwa a cikin girma dabam da ma'auni) ko, don mafari na gaskiya, Intimina's Laselle Kegel Exercisers. Saka mafi ƙarancin nauyi kuma ku saba dashi na tsawon mintuna 5 zuwa 10 - riƙe shi kawai zai sa tsokoki na PC ɗinku su yi kwangila. Yi aiki har sau biyu zuwa sau uku a rana, kuma kada ku riƙe ƙwallon cikin fiye da mintuna 30 a lokaci guda. Ya kamata ku fara lura da sakamako a cikin kimanin makonni shida zuwa nauyi idan kuna yin waɗannan motsa jiki akai-akai. Idan ba ku da tabbas, tambayi abokin tarayya ko yana jin bambanci!

Buga Gidan wasan kwaikwayo na Fim

Fasaha ta sa ya zama da sauƙi don ganin sabon ƙwanƙwasa daga kwanciyar kwanciyar ku, amma kuna rasa mafi kyawun abubuwan jima'i na kwanan wata fim: A cikin duhu, gani yana da ƙarfi, kuma sauran gabobi huɗu sun haɓaka, in ji Sadie Allison, Ph.D., wanda ya kafa TickleKitty.com kuma marubucin Hawan 'Em Cowgirl. Ƙara cikin farin ciki na samun "kama da aiki" a cikin jama'a, kuma shine wuri mafi kyau don samun hannu!

Don guje wa rashin jin daɗin wasan kwaikwayo na samarin ku, nemo gidan wasan kwaikwayo mai daidaitacce ta hannun hannu (kujerun salon salon soyayya) don ku sami kusanci. Zaɓi matinee don ƙaramin taron jama'a, kuma sanya sutturar shiga mai sauƙi kamar riguna tare da zurfin V-wuyan riga ko siket da rigar da ke ƙasa, da G-string (ko tafi commando). Idan kuna tunanin za ku buƙaci shi, shirya ƙaramin kwalabe na lube na ruwa, kuma ba mummunan ra'ayi ba ne ku adana wasu goge-goge a cikin jakar ku don sauƙi tsaftacewa. Ƙarfafa sauran gaɓoɓinsa ta hanyar sanya turare, yadudduka na siliki, da radawa abin da kuke so a kunnensa.

Yi Tsirara Kawai

Ka tuna lokacin da duk abin da kuke so ku yi da abokin tarayya shine cire tufafin juna kuma kada ku sake su? A zamanin nan da kyar kuke ganin juna ba tare da sutura ba. Amma ko da ba ku da sha'awar jima'i, akwai fa'idodin motsin rai don ba da lokacin cuddling a cikin buff tare da mutumin ku.

"Kawai tsirara tare na iya haɓaka kusanci ta hanyar bayyana kanku ga mutumin ba tare da shagala da sutura ba," in ji Cadell. Ta ba da shawarar haɓaka haɗin gwiwar ku ta hanyar raba rungumar zuciya-zuciya a gaba lokacin da aka cire ku. "An san wannan da rungumar tantric saboda yana kawo kuzarin jima'i ta cikin jiki zuwa zuciya ta yadda zukata biyu ke bugun daya," in ji ta. "Yana haifar da oxytocin don saki a cikin abokan tarayya guda biyu, yana haifar da mafi girman kusanci da kuma ƙara yawan sha'awar."

Kamar yadda yake sauti, kallon cikin idanun juna zai ba ku ƙarin ƙarfin jin daɗi na hormones dopamine da norepinephrine, waɗanda aka yi imanin su ne sinadarai masu ƙarfi don haɗin gwiwar ɗan adam wanda ke haifar da sha'awar jima'i. Haɗa shi duka, kuma "wannan ƙaƙƙarfan ƙaƙƙarfan ƙaƙƙarfan ƙaƙƙarfan ƙaƙƙarfan ƙaƙƙarfan shayarwa yana taimaka wa maza su kula da tsaunuka da mata don shiga cikin yanayin tunani da jiki," in ji Cadell. Kuma kuna tsammanin runguma ba su da laifi.

Raba Kayan Wasanku Tare Da Shi

Kwanaki sun shuɗe lokacin da ake siyan kayan wasan jima'i kawai a cikin shagunan shagunan da ke cikin unguwanni masu zane. Baya ga masu siyar da kan layi na zillion, masu kusanci, shagunan abokantaka kamar Babeland a cikin New York City da Seattle suna yin siyayya don kayan wasan yara cikin sauƙi da jin daɗi - kuma hanya ce mai kyau don ƙara jima'i a cikin tattaunawa yayin ƙirƙirar jin daɗi.

Waɗanda suka saba yin gwaji tare da rawar jiki a gare shi za su so gwada zoben harshe mai girgiza kamar LingO, in ji Ian Kerner, Ph.D., mawallafin marubucin Kyakkyawan Jagoran Kwanciyar Kwanciya zuwa Makonni 52 na Jima'i Mai Ban Mamaki. Zaɓin ƙaramin maɓalli ne wanda zai haɓaka ƙwarewar wasan kwaikwayo na baka ba tare da kasancewa mai kinky ko fitar da shi ba. Kashi na biyu mafi kyau (bayan martaninsa, ba shakka)? Kudinsa ƙasa da matsakaicin tikitin fim.

Tura Zuciyarsa Mai Kazanta

Tunanin kallon batsa tare yana juya wasu matan - kawai abin da ba ku so. Maimakon haka, ku shiga cikin yanayi ta hanyar karanta labarun batsa kyauta kamar waɗanda ke kan Literotica.com ga juna. Kerner ya ce "Maza suna da hangen nesa sosai wanda hakan yana ba da haɓakar sabon abu wanda ba lallai ba ne ya samu daga gare ku, a ce, kallon batsa tare da ku," in ji Kerner. "Akwai wani abu mai ƙarfi da haɗin kai game da karatun jima'i tare, taɓa juna yayin sauraro, tunanin abubuwan da ke cikin kanku sabanin gaban allo. Wannan tafiya ce mai fa'ida ta hanyar sha'awar jima'i kuma yana sanya ku cikin al'ada. vocalizing da raba fantasies."

Kramer ya ba da shawarar yin aiki ta masu jima'i irin su Rachel Kramer Bussell, Violet Blue, da Susie Bright, waɗanda ke da wani abu ga kowa da kowa. Karanta wasu abubuwan da ke da zafi daga gidajen yanar gizon mawallafa, Google "Littafin batsa" kuma bincika sakamakon, ko ba shi kyauta ɗaya daga cikin littattafan Kenny Wright, waɗanda aka rubuta musamman a matsayin "erotica ga maza," don samun wani abu da za ku ji daɗi.

Ciyar da Burinku

Shirya brunch-in-gado mara nauyi na karshen mako wanda zai iya sa ku zauna a gado duk rana. Kerner ya ba da shawarar mangoro da kankana da aka yanka (duka biyun na iya haɓaka sha'awar sa), ɓauren ɓaure guda ɗaya (zai yi kama da jikin mace-hey, tabbas ba zai iya cutar da shi ba!), da kofi ko shayi mai ƙanshin vanilla (ƙamshin an ruwaito yana tada maza da mata. ). Idan kuna son fara ranar tare da mimosa, ba haka ba ne kuma: Champagne yana maimaita ƙamshin pheromones na mace.

Yi Duba Libido

Idan kun rasa sha'awar yin jima'i amma ba ku san dalilin da ya sa ba, hormones na ku zai iya zama a waje. Kashi 70 cikin 100 na ƙarancin jima'i shine hormonal, don haka tambayi likitan ku don duba matakan ku, in ji Sara Gottfried, MD, ob-gyn kuma marubucin littafin. Jaridar New York Times mai siyarwa Maganin Hormone. Shi ko ita za su iya taimaka muku zaɓi mafi kyawun zaɓuɓɓukan magani, wanda zai iya haɗawa da daidaita adadin ku idan kuna kan kwaya.

Idan ya zama ba jiki ba ne, yi amfani da likitan mata a matsayin mai ba da shawara ga likitan jima'i, Watson ya nuna. "Mai ba da shawara mai kyau zai kasance mai tausayawa da jinƙai ga zafin ku, kuma zai iya taimaka muku gano yadda zaku yi wasa cikin matsalolin jima'i a dangantakar ku."

Ko ta yaya, akwai sabbin zaɓuɓɓukan haɓaka libido a halin yanzu a cikin gwaje-gwajen bincike na mata, gami da miyagun ƙwayoyi Lybrido, an rubuta kwanan nan a cikin Jaridar New York Times, ko da yake waɗannan ba za su kasance aƙalla ƙarin shekaru uku ba, kuma ba duk masana ba ne magoya baya.

"Mata za su so shan wannan kwaya," in ji Watson. "Mata suna so su ji sha'awa da kuma wani abin jin jiki." Wani lokaci suna buƙatar yin jima'i kafin kasancewa cikin yanayi na hakan, sannan da zarar sun yi, sai su ji daɗin yin hakan, in ji ta. Don haka ku tuna da wannan tasirin dusar ƙanƙara a gaba lokacin da ya yi kauri kuma kuna manne da ku Wasan Al'arshi. Bayan haka, yin jima'i koyaushe yana da kyau fiye da kallonsa.

Bita don