Sau nawa Ma'auratan 'Al'ada' suke Yin Jima'i?

Wadatacce

• Matsakaici
• Shin Aurenku yana Cikin Matsala?
• Yadda Ake Hada Kayan Jima'i

A wani lokaci a rayuwa, ma'aurata da yawa suna mamaki kuma suna tambayar kansu, "Yaya matsakaicin adadin jima'i da wasu ma'auratan suke yi?" Kuma kodayake amsar ba cikakke ba ce, masu ilimin jima'i sun faɗi abubuwa da yawa game da wannan batun. Anan ga abin da suke fada, da wasu ƙarin nasihu don taimaka muku samun rayuwar jima'i akan hanya!

Matsakaici

Akwai wasu tambayoyi tsakanin masu ilimin jima'i game da menene ainihin matsakaici ga ma'aurata a cikin haɗin kai. Amsoshin suna iya zuwa daga sau ɗaya a mako zuwa sau ɗaya a wata! Lokacin da aka tambayi Ian Kerner, PhD, yadda yake ba da amsa ga ma'auratan da suka tambaye shi sau nawa ya kamata su yi jima'i, sai ya ce, "A koyaushe na amsa cewa babu wata amsa madaidaiciya.

Lokacin da ma'aurata suka daina yin jima'i, alaƙar su ta zama mai saurin fushi, rabuwar kai, rashin aminci da kuma, a ƙarshe, saki.

Bayan haka, rayuwar ma'aurata ta shafi abubuwa daban-daban da yawa: shekaru, salon rayuwa, lafiyar kowane abokin tarayya da libido na ɗabi'a kuma, hakika, ingancin dangantakar su gabaɗaya, don ambata justan kaɗan

Don haka yayin da babu wata amsa madaidaiciya ga tambayar ta yadda sau da yawa ya kamata ma'aurata su yi jima'i, ba da jimawa ba na ɗan rage dacewa kuma na shawarci ma'aurata da su yi ƙoƙarin yin hakan aƙalla sau ɗaya a mako. " A cewar David Schnarch, PhD, ta hanyar binciken da aka gudanar tare da fiye da 20,000 ma'aurata, ya gano cewa kawai 26% na ma'aurata suna buga alamar sau ɗaya a mako, tare da yawancin masu amsa tambayoyin jima'i kawai sau ɗaya ko sau biyu a wata, ko lessasa!

Koyaya, wani binciken, wanda aka buga a Jami'ar Chicago Press kimanin shekaru 10 da suka gabata, ya bayyana cewa ma'aurata suna yin jima'i kusan sau bakwai a wata, wanda yake ƙasa da sau biyu a mako. Kuma a cikin bincike na uku, an bayar da rahoton cewa daga cikin manya 16,000 da aka yi hira da su, tsofaffin mahalarta suna yin jima’i kusan sau 2 zuwa 3 a kowane wata, yayin da matasa masu halartar taron suka ce suna yin jima’i kusan sau ɗaya a mako.

Shin Aurenku yana Cikin Matsala?

Yawancin masu ba da ilimin jima'i sun yarda cewa yin jima'i ƙasa da sau 10 a shekara yana da dalilin isa ya sanya aurenku a matsayin mara sa jima'i. Koyaya, rashin jima'i baya nufin cewa aurenku yana cikin matsala, a cewar Schnarch. Duk da yake jima'i na iya kasancewa hanyar da ma'aurata galibi ke nuna soyayya da sha'awar juna, rashin jima'i ba lallai ba ne ya nuna cewa kun nufi hutu ne, kodayake abu ne da ya kamata ku samu. Dokta Kerner ya ce, “Jima’i yana saurin sauka zuwa kasan jerin abubuwan da Amurka za ta yi; amma, a cikin gogewa na, lokacin da ma'aurata suka daina yin jima'i dangantakar su ta zama mai saurin fushi, rabuwar kai, rashin aminci da kuma, kyakkyawan saki. Na yi imanin cewa batun jima'i: Ruwan man ne ya sa muka kasance tare kuma, ba tare da shi ba, ma'aurata sun zama 'abokai na gari' mafi kyau, ko kuma 'abokan zama masu rikici'.

Yadda Ake Hada Kayan Jima'i

Akwai dalilai da yawa da suke buƙatar faɗuwa cikin wuri don yin jima'i abin da kuke so. A cikin ma'aurata da yawa, bambancin ra'ayi na iya zama matsala. Al Cooper, daga Cibiyar Aure da Jima'i ta San Jose, ta ce, “Gabaɗaya, duk da haka, matsalolin ma’aurata galibi ba su cika faruwa game da jima’i ba, ta kowane fanni, fiye da samun jima’i.

"Idan sha'awar jima'i ba ta daidaita ba, burinku shi ne ku sadu a tsakiya, yin jima'i fiye da yadda masoyinku ɗaya yake so, amma mai yiwuwa kaɗan ya ragu da sauran abubuwan." - Dr. Gail Saltz

Babu yarda ma'aurata suyi jima'i a kowane layin lokaci daidai. Mabuɗin shine yadda ma'aurata suke tattauna lokacin da ɗayan ya fara ɗayan kuma ya ƙi. ” Kamar kowane matsala a cikin dangantaka, jima'i da yawan lokutan da kuke dashi yana buƙatar sasantawa.

Yana iya zama kamar babban dutse ne hawa, lokacin da kake tunanin duk sauran abubuwan da kake ma'amala da su yau da kullun. Wanki, aiki, dafa abinci, tsabtatawa, da sauran ayyuka galibi suna da mahimmanci fiye da saurin gaggawa tare da abokin tarayya; amma jima'i na iya zama daɗi kuma! Kerner ya ce, “Da zarar mun daina yin sa, to abu ne mai sauki mu tsunduma cikin rashi; amma da zarar mun dawo kan hanya, zamu tuna da yadda muka rasa shi. Tsohuwar maganar 'amfani da shi ko rasa shi' yana da ɗan gaskiya. Hakanan shawarata, 'gwada shi, zaku so shi.' ”

Da farko, yana iya nufin tsara lokacin jima'i da sanya lokacin da zai kai ga jima'i kusanci. Rungume juna kowace rana, motsa jiki don haɓaka matakan testosterone, kuma kashe abubuwan da ke raba hankalin, kamar kwamfutar da Talabijin. Idan har yanzu kuna fuskantar matsaloli tare da iya tsunduma cikin kusanci, ganin mai ba da ilimin jima'i na iya taimaka muku da abokin tarayyar ku a shafi ɗaya!