Ƙananan libido a cikin mata: Menene ke kashe Jima'i?

Wadatacce

• Annobar da ke Ci gaba, shiru
• Matsala Mai Nisa
• Muhawarar Babbar Magani
• Kawo Ƙananan Libido Daga Bedaki
• Bita don

Rayuwa bayan haihuwa ba shine abin da Katherine Campbell ta zato ba. Haka ne, ɗanta da aka haifa yana da koshin lafiya, mai farin ciki, kyakkyawa; eh, ganin mijinta yana yi masa ladabi ya sanya zuciyarta ta narke. Amma wani abu ya ji… kashe. A gaskiya, ita ya rasa. A shekaru 27, sha'awar jima'i ta Campbell ta ɓace.

"Ya kasance kamar sauyawa a cikin kaina," in ji ta. "Ina son jima'i wata rana, kuma bayan haka babu wani abu, ba na son jima'i, ban so tunani game da jima'i." (Sau Nawa Kowa Yana Yin Jima'i?)

Da farko, ta gaya wa kanta wannan ɓacewar aikin al'ada ce. Sannan bayan 'yan watanni ta juya zuwa Intanet don amsoshi. "Mata a kan layi suna faɗin abubuwa kamar, 'Ku yi haƙuri, yanzu kun haifi sabon jariri, kun damu ... Jikinku yana buƙatar lokaci, ku ba shi watanni shida.' To, watanni shida sun zo sun tafi, kuma babu abin da ya canza, ”in ji Campbell. "Sannan shekara ta zo ta tafi, kuma babu abin da ya canza." Yayin da ita da maigidanta har yanzu suna yin jima’i ba zato ba tsammani, a karon farko a rayuwar Campbell, ta ji kamar tana tafiya ne kawai. "Kuma ba kawai jima'i ba ne," in ji ta. "Ba na son yin kwarkwasa, wasa da wasa, yin jima'i da jima'i-duk abin da ke cikin rayuwata ya ɓace." Shin wannan har yanzu al'ada ce? ta yi mamaki.

Annobar da ke Ci gaba, shiru

Ta wata hanya, kwarewar Campbell ta kasance al'ada. Jan Leslie Shifren, MD, masanin ilimin halittar mahaifa a Babban Asibitin Mass a Boston, MA ya ce: "Ƙarƙashin sha'awar jima'i yana da yawa sosai a cikin mata," in ji Jan Leslie Shifren, MD. "Idan kawai kuna tambayar mata, 'Hey, ba ku da sha'awar yin jima'i?' cikin sauki kashi 40 za su ce eh”.

Amma rashin yin jima'i kadai ba matsala bane. Yayin da wasu mata kawai ba sa son yin jima'i sau da yawa, ƙarancin libido galibi sakamako ne na wucin gadi na matsi na waje, kamar sabon jariri ko matsalolin kuɗi. (Ko wannan Abun Mamaki Wanda Zai Iya Kashe Jikin Jima'i.) Domin a gano cutar da lalata mata, ko abin da a yanzu ake kira sha'awar sha'awa/tashin hankali (SIAD), mata suna buƙatar samun ƙarancin libido na aƙalla watanni shida kuma suna jin damuwa game da shi, kamar Campbell. Shifren ya ce kashi 12 na mata sun cika wannan ma'anar.

Kuma ba muna magana ne game da matan da suka shude ba. Kamar Campbell, waɗannan mata ne a cikin 20s, 30s, da 40s, waɗanda ba su da lafiya, farin ciki, kuma suna iko da kowane yanki na rayuwarsu-sai dai, ba zato ba tsammani, ɗakin kwana.

Matsala Mai Nisa

Abin takaici, rashin aikin jima'i baya kasancewa a cikin ɗakin kwana na dogon lokaci. Kashi 70 cikin 100 na matan da ba su da sha'awar sha'awa sun fuskanci matsaloli na sirri da na mu'amala a sakamakon haka, sun sami bincike a cikin Jaridar So Jima'i. Suna ba da rahoton mummunan tasiri akan hoton jikinsu, yarda da kai, da haɗin gwiwa ga abokin aikin su.

Kamar yadda Campbell ya ce, "Yana barin wani rami wanda ke shiga cikin wasu yankuna." Ba ta taɓa daina yin jima'i da mijinta gaba ɗaya ba - ma'auratan har ma sun ɗauki ɗansu na biyu - amma a ƙarshenta, aƙalla, "wani abu ne na yi saboda wajibi." A sakamakon haka, ma'auratan sun fara faɗa da yawa, kuma ta damu matuka game da tasirin hakan ga yaransu. (Shin Mata Suna Nufin Aure?)

Abin da ya fi baƙanta rai shi ne tasirin da ta yi a kan sha'awar rayuwarta: kiɗa. "Ina ci, ina barci, kuma ina shakar kiɗa. Koyaushe babban ɓangare ne na rayuwata kuma na ɗan lokaci, aikina na cikakken lokaci," in ji Campbell, wanda shi ne jagoran mawaƙa na ƙungiyar rock-rock kafin ya zama uwa. "Amma lokacin da na yi ƙoƙarin komawa cikin kiɗa bayan samun 'ya'yana, sai na ga ba ni da sha'awa."

Muhawarar Babbar Magani

To menene mafita? Ya zuwa yanzu, babu wani sauƙin gyara-mafi yawa saboda abubuwan da ke haifar da lalacewar jima'i na mata suna da wuyar tantancewa kuma galibi suna da abubuwa da yawa, waɗanda suka haɗa da abubuwan da ke da wahalar gwadawa, kamar rashin daidaiton neurotransmitter da damuwa. (Dubi waɗannan 5 Libido-Crushers na gama gari don Gujewa.) Don haka yayin da maza da ke da matsalar tabarbarewa ko saurin fitar maniyyi, nau'ikan al'ada guda biyu na tabarbarewa na maza, na iya fitar da kwaya ko shafa kan kirim, zaɓuɓɓukan maganin mata sun haɗa da abubuwa kamar farfajiya, tunani horo, da sadarwa, duk waɗannan suna ɗaukar lokaci, kuzari, da haƙuri. (Kamar waɗannan 6 Libido Boosters Wannan Aiki.)

Kuma mata da yawa ba sa jin daɗin kowane ɗayan waɗannan zaɓuɓɓukan. Campbell, alal misali, ta lalata magunguna da ta gwada kamar jerin siyayya: motsa jiki, rage nauyi, cin ƙarin abubuwan da ke cikin jiki da ƙarancin sarrafa abinci, har ma da maganin hana kumburi da likita ya ba shi-duk don ba a samu nasara ba.

Ita da sauran mata da yawa sun yi imani da bege na gaskiya yana cikin kwayar da ake kira flibanserin, wanda galibi ake kira "Viagra mace." Magungunan miyagun ƙwayoyi yana aiki akan masu karɓar serotonin don haɓaka sha'awa; a cikin binciken daya a cikin Jaridar Magungunan Jima'i, mata suna da abubuwan more rayuwa na jin daɗin 2.5 a kowane wata yayin ɗaukar shi (waɗanda ke kan placebo suna da ƙarin abubuwan jin daɗin jima'i na 1.5 a cikin lokaci guda). Har ila yau, sun ji ƙarancin damuwa game da abubuwan jima'i, babban zane ga mutane kamar Campbell.

Amma FDA ta toshe buƙatarta ta farko don amincewa, tana mai nuna damuwa game da tsananin illar da ke tattare da ita, wanda ya haɗa da bacci, ciwon kai, da tashin zuciya, a gaban abin da suke ɗauka ƙaramar fa'ida. (Kara karantawa game da dalilin da yasa FDA ta nemi ƙarin Karatu akan Mace Viagra.)

Masu kera flibanserin-da da yawa daga cikin matan da suka halarci gwajin asibiti na miyagun ƙwayoyi-sun ce fa'idodin ba komai bane illa taƙawa, kuma illa masu illa suna da sauƙi kuma ana iya sarrafa su, misali, shan maganin kafin kwanciya. Bayan tattara ƙarin shaidu da gudanar da bita tare da FDA don ƙarin bayani game da tabarbarewar jima'i na mata, sun sake ƙaddamar da Sabuwar Aikace -aikacen Magunguna don flibanserin ga FDA wannan Talata, 17 ga Fabrairu.

Duk da yake masu goyon bayan maganin suna da bege, babu tabbacin cewa za su sami amincewa-ko kuma idan sun yi, tsawon lokacin da za a dauka don kawo flibanserin zuwa kasuwa. Abin da ya fi haka, wasu masana suna mamakin yadda maganin, koda ya sami izini, zai taimaka wa mata da gaske.

"Ina tsammanin ƙananan mata masu fama da rashin jima'i za su amfana," in ji masanin ilimin jima'i Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. marubucin Kuzo Kamar Yadda kuke ($13; amazon.com). Amma ta yi imanin cewa mata da yawa waɗanda za a sayar da flibanserin ba za su sami tabarbarewar jima'i ba kwata-kwata.

Akwai nau'ikan sha'awar mace guda biyu, in ji Nagoski: kwatsam, wannan ɓarna da kuke samu lokacin da kuka ga sabon hottie a wurin motsa jiki, kuma mai amsawa, wanda ke faruwa lokacin da ba a kunna ku ba, amma kuna shiga yanayin lokacin da abokin tarayya ya haifar da jima'i. Dukansu iri biyun "na al'ada ne," amma mata galibi suna samun saƙon cewa sha'awar kwatsam ita ce ƙarshe-duka a cikin ɗakin kwana-kuma shine abin da flibanserin yayi alƙawarin isarwa. (Shin Ni Al'ada ce? An Amsa Amsoshin Tambayoyin Jima'i na 6.)

Hatta ga mata waɗanda da gaske ba su da nau'in sha'awar, Nagoski ya kara da cewa, "Yana da mahimmanci a gare su su san cewa yana yiwuwa a sami ci gaba ba tare da magunguna ba." Koyarwar tunani, gina dogara, gwada sabbin abubuwa a cikin ɗakin kwana-waɗannan abubuwa ne da aka tabbatar suna haɓaka sha'awar jima'i, in ji Nagoski.

Kawo Ƙananan Libido Daga Bedaki

A tunanin Campbell, duk da haka, ya zo ga zaɓi. Tun da ba ta cikin gwaji na asibiti na flibanserin, "Ban ma san ko zai yi aiki a gare ni ba. Amma ina so a amince da shi don in gwada shi, in ga ko yana aiki."

Amma ko da an sake ƙi flibanserin - ko ma idan an amince da shi kuma Campbell (wanda masana'antun magunguna suka gabatar da ni) ya gano cewa ba shine magani ba - duk abin da ta ke fata - an sami sakamako mai kyau: The muhawara game da amincewar FDA ya haifar da ƙarin tattaunawa game da lalata jima'i na mata.

"Ina fatan sauran matan ba sa jin kunyar magana game da wannan," in ji Campbell. "Saboda rufe bakin mu baya samun zaɓuɓɓukan magani da muke buƙata. Shi ya sa na yanke shawarar gwada magana game da shi. Kuma kun san me? Wannan shi kaɗai ya ƙarfafa ni sosai."

Bita don