Yi Inzali Mai Ban Mamaki: Daina Ƙoƙarin Saukewa

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Ina ɗaukar lokaci mai tsawo? Idan ba zan iya inzali wannan lokacin fa? Yana gajiya? Shin zan yi karya ne? Yawancin mu wataƙila mun sami waɗannan tunanin, ko wasu sigar su, a wani lokaci ko wani. Matsalar ita ce, irin wannan madauki na kula da kai yana haifar da damuwa. Kuma babu wata hanya mafi tabbatacciya don rufe sha'awar jima'i fiye da damuwa, in ji malamin jima'i Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., marubucin Yayi kyau a Jagorar Bed don Inzali na Mata.

Shi ya sa ta ba da shawarar yin jima'i ba tare da inzali ba a matsayin burin ku na ƙarshe. Yana sauƙaƙa wasu daga cikin damuwar aikin libido, yana barin ku kyauta don jin daɗin jima'i.

Kuma wani abu mai ban dariya yana faruwa lokacin da kuka cire inzali daga tebur, in ji Nagoski. "Kamar haka ne: Duk abin da kuke yi, kar ku yi tunanin beyar sanye da ruwan hoda. Me ke faruwa?" Kuna hoton irin wannan, daidai ne? "Da wuya ku yi ƙoƙarin kada ku yi wani abu, ɗan ƙaramin abin dubawa a cikin kwakwalwar ku yana dubawa don ganin kuna samun ci gaba, wanda hakan na iya sa ku ƙara tayar da hankali." (Hanyoyi 8 Don Karya Kaman Pro a Bed.)

Amma yana iya zama da wahala a shawo kan wasu mazan cewa da gaske, da gaske ba kwa son tashi daga wannan lokacin: Sau da yawa ba sa jin ana yin jima'i har sai sun gama, kuma suna ɗaukan haka yake ga mata. Abin da ya fi haka, wasu samarin suna ganin ikonsu na ba ku inzali a matsayin ma'aunin mazan jiya. (Abubuwa 8 Da Maza Suke So Mata Su Sani Game Da Jima'i.)

Don haka a lokacin da ake jan hankalin batun, yi ƙoƙarin sanya shi cikin mahimman kalmomin. Nagoski ya ce "Ku gaya masa yadda kuke son yin jima'i da shi, amma ku sanar da shi cewa kuna jin matsin lamba mai yawa don zuwa, kuma hakan yana ƙara wahalar da shi a gare ku," in ji Nagoski. "Hakanan kuna iya faɗi wani abu kamar, 'Idan na haskaka haske akan azzakarinku kuma na nemi ku sami tsinke a yanzu, yana iya zama mai wahala a gare ku. Wannan shine irin yadda nake ji.'" Sannan ku ce kuna son samun jima'i ba tare da ma yin tunani game da inzali don ku ji daɗin kanku da gaske ba.

Don ƙarin shawarwari kan neman abin da kuke so a gado, duba shape.com gobe!

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