Dalilin Ilimin da kuke ƙin ranar soyayya

Wadatacce

• Neurochemicals A cikin Kwakwalwar ku
• Martanin Halittarku Ga Duk Wannan Rarraba
• Sosai ~ Haƙiƙa ~ Ciwo daga Karyayyen Zuciya
• Bita don

Lokaci ne na shekara-komai, daga balloons zuwa kofunan man gyada, yana da siffa ta zuciya. Ranar soyayya ta kusa. Kuma kodayake hutu yana haddasawa wasu mutane don yin kumfa da farin ciki kamar ruwa a cikin kwanon zafi mai siffar zuciya, wasu kuma suna jin kunya lokacin da suka ga Fabrairu 14 a kalandar. Akwai yuwuwar idan kun danna kan wannan labarin, kuna cikin wannan rukunin na ƙarshe.

Ba kai kaɗai ba ne. An Elite Daily Binciken 415 millennials ya gano cewa kashi 28 cikin dari na mata da kashi 35 cikin ɗari na maza ba sa jin daɗin ranar soyayya.

Akwai dalilai da yawa da muke son ƙin 14 ga Fabrairu, in ji Laurie Essig, Ph.D., farfesa a ilimin zamantakewa a Kwalejin Middlebury kuma marubucin littafin. Soyayya, Inc.: Aikace -aikacen Dating, Babban Farin Farin Ciki, da Neman Mai Farin Ciki.

Tabbas, kasuwanci yana cikin sa.Amma lokacin da mutane suka ji dadi game da ranar soyayya, yawanci saboda babban tsammanin ranar da aka tsara-duka ga waɗanda ba su da aure kuma suna jiran Guy ko yarinya na mafarkin su zo tare da wadanda ke cikin dangantaka, ma. "Ko da kun sadu da 'wanda,' har yanzu dole ne ku yi maganin guguwar dodanni da kuma mummunan yanayi a duniya," in ji sys Essig. "Ranar soyayya ita ce wannan alƙawari mai ban mamaki na shekara -shekara, kuma wasu daga cikinmu suna jin daɗin hakan."

Za a iya bayyana wannan ɓacin rai, a sashi, ta hanyar kimiyya. Eh, akwai wasu dalilai na rashin son ranar soyayya ban da kawai cin mutunci ko kaushi. Anan, mun rushe kaɗan daga cikin dalilan-kuma muna ba da mafita don shawo kan dabarar da ke bayan dalilin da yasa kuke raina tunanin kawai na soyayya a wannan lokacin na shekara.

Neurochemicals A cikin Kwakwalwar ku

Oxytocin shine abin da ake kira hormone soyayya, kuma galibi ana samar da shi a cikin hypothalamus. Neurochemical yana ɗaure ga neurons a cikin kwakwalwa kuma yana taimakawa haɓaka haɓakar zamantakewa, haɗin soyayya, da tausayawa.

Masana kimiyya sun gano cewa adadin oxytocin da kowane mutum ke fitarwa yana daura da kwayoyin halitta-matan sun fi sakin oxygen fiye da maza, in ji Paul Zak, Ph.D., masanin tattalin arziki a Jami'ar Claremont Graduate a California. Wannan a bangare ne saboda testosterone yana hana sakin oxytocin, ƙirƙirar "yanayin rinjaye" maimakon "yanayin haɗin gwiwa."

Nawa na "hormone na soyayya" da aka fitar kuma yana da alaƙa da halayenku-mutane waɗanda suka fi yarda da kuma jin tausayi suna sakin oxytocin, Zak ya bayyana. Amma wannan kuma yana iya canzawa kowace rana, ya danganta da yanayin ku da abubuwan waje. "Akwai mutanen da ba sa sakin oxytocin da yawa bayan kyakkyawar mu'amala ta zamantakewa, sun faɗi runguma ko yabo," in ji shi. "Waɗannan mutanen na iya kasancewa da mummunan rana. Damuwa tana hana kwakwalwa yin yawa oxytocin, daga matakin salula," in ji shi. "Don haka eh, wasu mutane ba za su iya jin daɗin V-Day ba, a sashi, saboda wannan."

Amma wannan ba yana nufin waɗannan mutane ba za su iya yin abubuwa don ƙoƙarin ƙara oxytocin a cikin kwakwalwa ba.

Abin da za a yi: Zak ya ce idan kuna neman canza halayenku game da hutu, hanya mafi kyau don jin so (da oxytocin) shine ku ba abokin tarayya (idan kuna cikin alaƙa), iyaye, dabbobi, ko aboki. Kuna samun abin da kuke bayarwa idan ya zo ga hormone. "Yana da matukar wahala ga mutane su kara yawan oxytocin, amma za su iya ba da wannan kyautar. Idan ka ba wadanda ke kusa da ku ƙauna da kulawa, yana motsa su su ba da irin wannan a gare ku," in ji Zak.

Akwai wasu hanyoyin da kimiyya ke goyan baya don canza hanyar da keɓaɓɓun ƙwayoyin jijiyoyin ku ke ɗaure da jijiyoyin ku don samar da ƙarin oxytocin, kamar "sake saita kwakwalwa," in ji Zak. "Zaku iya zama a cikin baho mai zafi don shakatawa (zafin zafi yana haifar da oxytocin), yin tunani, yin tafiya tare da wani, ko yin wani abu mai ban sha'awa da ban tsoro tare da abokin tarayya don kona damuwa da kuma motsa oxytocin: Hawan abin nadi! hawan helikofta!" Ko gwada sabon motsa jiki tare da manyan sauran ku. (Fa'idodin jima'i bayan aikin motsa jiki yana da ƙima.)

Ko da ba ku da aure, gwada waɗannan abubuwan tare da abokai da dangi na iya taimakawa haɓaka oxytocin ku da damuwar ku (kuma wataƙila ƙin V-Day ɗinku) ya ragu.

Martanin Halittarku Ga Duk Wannan Rarraba

Wannan lokacin na shekara yana jan hankalin PDA da tura sakonnin Facebook da Instagram. Hali irin wannan na iya haifar da cynics V-Day, kuma wani binciken Jami'ar Arewa maso Yamma na iya nuna dalilin.

Bincike daga Arewa maso Yamma ya gano cewa mutanen da ke sa ido kan alakar su ta Facebook ba su da ƙauna. Oversharing yana nufin fiye da raba hoto na lokaci-lokaci tare da ƙaunataccen ku-yana da mafi girman matakan bayyanawa kamar, a ce, wasan-wasa na daren ranar soyayya. (FYI, a nan akwai hanyoyi biyar masu ban mamaki da kafofin watsa labarun zasu iya taimakawa dangantakarku.)

Kuma, a'a. Ba kawai mutane marasa aure ba ne kawai suka fusata da irin wannan hali-babu mai son sa.

"Ba mu sami wani bambance-bambance tsakanin masu tsinkayar da ba su da aure da kuma wadanda ke cikin dangantaka ta fuskar yadda suke son mutane su rika musayar bayanan dangantaka," in ji marubuciyar binciken, Lydia Emery. "Ba ze zama kamar mutane marasa aure suna jin kishi ko bacin rai ba-da alama kowa yana son wuce gona da iri."

Abin da za a yi: Duk da cewa ba za ku iya guje wa ma'aurata gaba ɗaya akan titi ba ko kuma mafi girman nasarar saurayin da ke ɗauke da babban teddy bear a cikin jirgin karkashin kasa, akwai matakan da za ku iya ɗauka don rage ƙarancin wannan wuce gona da iri a rayuwar ku.

Yi lalata kafofin watsa labarun don watan Fabrairu. Yin hakan na iya sa ka farin ciki a wannan biki-binciken da masu bincike a Jami’ar New York da Jami’ar Stanford suka yi ya gano cewa kashe Facebook makonni hudu kacal ya sa mutane su ba da rahoton wani ci gaba a matakin farin cikin su. Idan hakan yana da tsauri, gwada iyakance kanku zuwa mintuna 10 na binciken Instagram kowace rana. (Akwai wasu fa'idodi don iyakance lokacin allo, ma.)

Sosai ~ Haƙiƙa ~ Ciwo daga Karyayyen Zuciya

To, ga wanda kuke jira. Fashewar tallan ja da ruwan hoda a duk inda kuka juya babu shakka zai iya haifar da tunani game da soyayya a cikin rayuwar ku. Idan kuna ma'amala da rabuwa ko soyayyar da ba ta dace ba, biki na iya haifar da ciwo. Ee, ainihin zafi.

"Kwaƙwalwarmu ba ta ba mu hanya mai sauƙi don kuɓuta daga wannan rikici ko keɓantacce a cikin jama'a da muke ji yayin da wani ba ya mayar da martani," in ji Zak. "Kuma ana sarrafa wannan jin daɗin kadaici da rikici iri ɗaya a cikin kwakwalwa kamar yadda ake sarrafa zafin jiki, ta hanyar matrix ɗin mu na jin zafi."

A takaice dai, soyayya a zahiri tana cutar da ita, kuma ranar soyayya na iya zama abin tunatarwa ba dabara ba.

Abin da za a yi: Zak ya ce daya daga cikin mafi kyawun hanyoyin da za a magance wannan ciwo yana dawowa ga oxytocin. "Oxytocin wani analgesic ne," in ji shi. "Yawancin karatu sun nuna yana rage zafi ta hanyar rage yawan aiki a cikin matrix mai zafi."

Idan ba ku da aure, kuna haɓaka matakan ku, ku ce, samun bukin ranar Galentine na iya taimakawa a zahiri yaɓar da mummunan tunanin ku game da hutu da ɗaga waɗannan matakan oxytocin. Zak ya ce "Haƙiƙa abu ne mai wayo don yin walima ku fita tare da abokan ku," in ji Zak. "Sai ku koma kan allon zane na shekara mai zuwa, kada mutane su daina [neman soyayya].

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