4 ProDommes Raba Daidai Abin da Ya Kamata Ku Kasance Dominatrix IRL

Wadatacce

• Menene Dominatrix, Daidai?
• Wanene ke zuwa Masanin Dominatrix?
• Fa'idodin Aiki tare da Dominatrix
• Menene Zama Tare da Ƙwararrun Dominatrix Kamar?
• Kasancewa Dominatrix Yana ɗaukar (Kwararru!) Aiki
• Yaya Ya Kamata Kasance Dominatrix?
• Bita don

ShahararriyarEuphoria kumaDauri, Nunin TV guda biyu waɗanda ke nuna Dominatrix a matsayin manyan haruffa-Kat Hernandez da Tiff Chester, bi da bi - yana ba da shawarar mutane suna da sha'awar ra'ayi na Dominatrix.

Abin takaici, akwai soki-burutsu na duka abubuwan nunin BDSM. Yawancin muryoyin sun damu da cewa saboda Kat ba shi da ƙanƙanta, rawar da ta taka a matsayin Dominatrix ba ta da ƙarfi. Wasu kuma suna zuba ido kan yadda ba daidai ba neDauriHoton hoto na yarda ne da iyakoki a cikin dangantakar D/s. Kuma ana tuhumar duka shirye -shiryen talabijin guda biyu na ci gaba da rawar jiki wanda duk masu aikin jinsi ke tsira daga rauni (galibi jima'i).

Abin da ya sa "ba za ku iya dogara ga abin da kuka gani a cikin kafofin watsa labaru game da Dominatrix ba don fahimtar abin da muke yi, dalilin da ya sa muke yin shi, ko wanene mu, ko abin da ayyukan BDSM masu aminci yayi kama," in ji Andre Shakti, ƙwararriyar Dominatrix, mai koyar da jima'i, da kuma kocin kusanci.

Da wannan a zuciya, Shakti da wasu ƙwararrun Masana'antu uku suna raba abin da ainihin Dominatrix yake. Anan, suna bayanin menene Dominatrix gaske shine, waɗanne irin abubuwa zasu iya yi da abokin ciniki, yadda zaman yake kama, da yadda yake shafar rayuwarsu mara sana'a.

Menene Dominatrix, Daidai?

Abokin aikinmu mai kyau Merriam Webster ya ayyana Dominatrix a matsayin "macen da ta mamaye abokin tarayya a zahiri ko a hankali a cikin sadomasochistic gamuwa." (Kuma, eh, koyaushe yana ba da babban matsayi, a matsayin ƙaƙƙarfan ƙaƙƙarfan ƙarfin kuzarin da ke cikin.)

Wannan fassarar ta fi ko ƙasa daidai, in ji Swell Cat, macen trans wacce ke haskaka azaman ma'aikacin jima'i na kan layi da Dominatrix, tare da lura da yawancin waɗanda ba na binary ba, mutanen da ba sa jinsi, ko kuma mutanen da ke da alaƙa da mata sun bayyana a matsayin Dominatrices suma.

Amma idan baku san menene "sadomasochistic saduwa" ba, wannan ma'anar tana da taimako kamar bugun Google don gano idan kuna da STI. Hadin sadomasochistic shine "inda wani ya ɗauki matsayin da ya fi biyayya yayin binciken kink da BDSM," in ji Shakti. (Idan kuna buƙatar wartsakewa akan BDSM, ku tsallake wannan Jagoran Mafari na BDSM da sauri, sannan ku dawo nan nan.)

Yana da mahimmanci a ambaci cewa akwai bambanci tsakanin salon rayuwa Dominatrix da ƙwararren Dominatrix, in ji Lola Jean, Dominatrix da malamin jima'i. Wasu mutane suna son ɗaukar babban matsayi 24/7 - ma'ana, suna da wanda ke yi musu hidima a kowane lokaci, har ma a waje da ɗakin kwana ko kurkuku. Waɗannan su ne salon Dominatrices.

Ga wasu, kamar waɗanda aka yi hira da su don wannan labarin, zama Dominatrix rawar rawa ce. Shakti ya bayyana cewa "Lokacin da kuka kasance ƙwararre, kuna da ƙwarewa wajen mamaye cikin yanayin kink ko yanayin BDSM." "Mutane suna zuwa wurin ku don wannan ƙwarewar, kuma ana yin ma'amala ta kuɗi. Aikin jima'i ne."

Duk da haka, yayin da "Dominatrix ita ce kalmar da za ku gani sau da yawa a cikin kafofin watsa labaru, ba yawanci kalmar da yawancin mutane ke amfani da su ba," in ji Jean. Maimakon ganowa a matsayin "Dominatrix," yawancin mutane suna amfani da kalmar Domme ko Dom. Ko ProDomme/ProDomme idan ƙwararru ne. (Sauran wannan labarin ya dogara ne akan ProDommes.)

Wanene ke zuwa Masanin Dominatrix?

Ku sani wannan: Babu daya irin abokin ciniki. Mutane na kowane zamani, jinsi, daidaitawa, da kabilanci na iya zaɓar ɗaukar ProDomme. (Ko da yake yana da daraja ambaton hakan saboda yawancin ProDommes suna cajin tsakanin $200 da $400 a kowace awa, yawancin abokan ciniki sune matsakaici ko babba).

"Abokan cinikina suna gudanar da gamuwa daga manyan shugabanni, likitocin fiɗa, da lauyoyi zuwa ma'aurata, mata masu ban sha'awa, mutane masu launin shuɗi, da masu launin shuɗi kawai suna neman bincika da faɗaɗa jima'i, biyayya, da haɗin kai mafi inganci," in ji Ashley Paige, ƙwararren Dominatrix na tushen NYC.

Fa'idodin Aiki tare da Dominatrix

Ana mamakin me yasa wani zai iya hayar Dominatrix? Dalilai iri-iri. "Wasu mutane suna neme mu saboda sun ga 'Fifty Shades of Grey' kuma suna sha'awar yin gwaji da BDSM a karon farko," in ji Shakti. A ra'ayinta, "hayar ƙwararre shine ɗayan mafi kyawun kuma amintattun hanyoyin da za a fara bincika BDSM, kinks, ko tayi." Wancan saboda akwai ingantattun hanyoyin (r) don yin abubuwa kamar bulala, bulala, tsiya, shaƙewa, ko mari wani - duk ƙwararru sun sani, amma abokin tarayya bazai iya ba. Plusari, pro yana iya ƙirƙirar abin da Jean ya kira, "sararin samaniya mara lafiya na zahiri don bincika sha'awar ku," ta yadda abokin tarayya (musamman abokin soyayya ba mai ƙauna ba) ba zai iya yi ba.

Sauran masu goyon baya suna neman ProDommes don yin takamaiman fantasy. "Wani lokaci abokan ciniki za su rubuta cikakken rubutun tare da takamaiman layukan da suke so in faɗi yayin wani yanayi," in ji Shakti. Ko kuma, suna iya buƙatar takamaiman aikin jima'i. Game da na ƙarshen, abokan ciniki za su yi hayar ƙwararre tare da ƙwararru a cikin wannan aikin (yep, ProDommes suna da fannoni). Paige, alal misali, ƙwararre ne a cikin "sadomasochism, canjin ɗabi'a, muguwar sha'awa, wasa mai tasiri, da azabtarwar jiki, wasan lantarki, wasan motsa jiki mai ƙarfi, bugun ƙasa, wasa na farko, cikakken horo na bayan gida, rashi azanci da ƙari, horar da bawa , da tantric kink tare da mai da hankali kan aikin numfashi da catharsis ... don suna kaɗan." Sauran fannoni sun haɗa da kumburi, abinci, ɓarna, azabtar da azaba, wasan motsa jiki, wulakanci, azabtar da nono, wasan likita, zakara da azabtar da ƙwal, azabtar da kan nono, wasan kwaikwayo, da tsalle. (Don ƙarin akan ~ duk wannan ~, kuna iya bincika Babban Jagora ga Kink ta Tristan Taormino da Barbara Carrellas ko Fassara Kink ɗin ku da Galen Fous.)

ICYWW, abokan ciniki ba sa buƙatar sanin ainihin abin da suke son gwadawa kafin su isa ga ProDomme - ƙwararren zai iya taimaka muku gano hakan. "Lokacin da wani bai san abin da suke so su gwada ba, za mu yi magana game da abu na ƙarshe da suka yi al'aurar, abin da batsa suke jin dadi, abin da suke sha'awar, da abin da suke so su ji a lokacin / bayan wani zama," in ji Jean. . "Zan yi amfani da wannan bayanin kuma in ba da shawarar ayyukan da nake tsammanin za su yi daidai da hakan, sannan za mu sake tattaunawa." (FYI, waɗannan su ne mafi yawan tunanin jima'i.)

Menene Zama Tare da Ƙwararrun Dominatrix Kamar?

Yawanci, musaya tsakanin ProDomme da abokin ciniki zai fara lokacin da abokin ciniki ya ɗora Dominatrix a yankin su kuma ya tuntuɓi Domme da suke tsammanin zai dace. Sannan, su biyun zasu yi taɗi (ta imel, waya, ko kafofin watsa labarun) game da abin da abokin ciniki yake nema; idan ya dace, za su yi alƙawari. Idan ba haka ba, Domme galibi yana iya haɗa abokin ciniki tare da ƙwararre wanda zai iya zama mafi dacewa, in ji Shakti.

Bayan haka, yawanci za su yarda kan wuri da taro. "Yawancin zama ana yin shi ne a cikin ɗakin otal ko kuma a cikin kurkukun kasuwanci inda akwai ƙananan ɗakuna da yawa," in ji Jean. Wasu Dommes za su je gidan abokin ciniki don ƙarin cajin, amma yawanci kawai idan sun yi aiki tare kafin, "in ji ta (saboda, aminci).

Minti 5 zuwa 15 na farko na zama sun haɗa da yin magana kawai da samun nutsuwa da juna, a cewar Shakti. "Ko da mun riga mun yi magana game da abin da zai faru, za mu sake maimaitawa a karo na biyu. Sannan za mu yi magana game da jikinsu duk wani nakasa, ciwon tsoka, ko ciwon da zai iya tsoma baki cikin abin da muke shirin yi. yi, "in ji ta. "Bayan haka, abokin ciniki zai biya ni, kuma za mu shiga cikin lamarin." Tsawon lokacin da yanayin zai kasance zai bambanta, amma a gare ta, yawanci suna ɗaukar mintuna 45 zuwa 50.

Wani abu da zaku yi mamakin koya shine, yawanci, al'amuran ba su haɗa da jima'i mai shiga tsakani ba. Paige ya ce "Duk da cewa akwai ayyuka da yawa da ke da dabi'ar jima'i kamar fisting ko wasan prostate, ƙwararrun Masana'antu ba sa yin jima'i da abokan cinikin su," in ji Paige.

Bayan haka, "za mu kashe 'yan mintuna kaɗan don duba yadda suke ji," in ji Shakti. Sa'an nan, idan sarari yana da shawa, abokin ciniki zai iya zaɓar yin amfani da shi. "Sannan muna girgiza hannu da raba hanya," in ji ta.

Wasu abokan ciniki suna da tunanin da kawai suke "buƙata" don rayuwa sau ɗaya. Shakti ya ce "Mutanen da suka saba da BDSM suna son yin min ajje -kade na 'yan lokuta don mu sami nutsuwa cikinsa a hankali," in ji Shakti. Sauran mutane suna da alƙawura na yau da kullun tare da ProDommes ɗin su. (Mai Dangantaka: BDSM Ya Ajiye Aure Na Ƙasa daga Saki)

Kasancewa Dominatrix Yana ɗaukar (Kwararru!) Aiki

Akwai kuskuren cewa aikin jima'i ba aikin "ainihin" ba ne ( * ido ido *), amma wannan ba zai iya zama nesa da gaskiya ba. Paige ya ce "Kasancewa Dominatrix kusan hanya ce fiye da ɗaukar bulala da yi wa wani ihu." Samun damar shiga cikin BDSM lafiya yana nufin sanin yadda ake bulala, bulala, shake, da sauransu. wani ba tare da haifar da lahani ba (ko rashin yarda). "Wadanda daga cikinmu da suke da mahimmanci game da aikinmu suna zuwa tarurruka, karanta littattafai, yin bincike, kuma sun sadaukar da sa'o'i da sa'o'i na aiki don tabbatar da cewa kowa zai iya tafiya gaba ɗaya kuma mafi kyau fiye da baya-ko da kuwa hakan yana nufin tafiya tare da (ijma'i). ) rauni ko biyu, ”in ji ta.

Dominatrices kuma suna buƙatar ƙwararrun ƙwarewar hulɗar juna. Shakti ya ce "Yana da wahala a fitar da bayanai daga wasu abokan cinikin, kuma kuna buƙatar samun damar isa ga abin da suke so kuma ba tare da yin aiki kamar kuna cire hakora ba," in ji Shakti. Hakanan kuna buƙatar tunani mai ƙarfi da kuma iya auna kuzarin mutane, "domin ku sa su ji goyon baya, ingantattu, da aminci a duk tsawon zaman," in ji ta. Abokan ciniki da yawa sun zo cikin wani zama tare da babban abin kunya game da sha'awar jima'i ko halayensu, kuma ProDomme ya taimaka musu su ci gaba da wannan tunanin, kuma, in ji Shakti. (Shi ya sa mata da yawa ke amfani da BDSM a matsayin nau'i na jiyya.)

Oh, kuma "dole ne ku zama wakilin ku, mai sarrafa, mai tsara gidan yanar gizon, mai tallata, mai haɓakawa, mai haɓakawa, mai sarrafa kafofin watsa labarun, marubucin kwafi, da mai daukar hoto/bidiyo," in ji ta. Ee, akwai dalilin da ake kira aikin jima'iaiki.

Amma kar a karanta shi ba daidai ba: Wannan ba yana nufin duk Dominatrices suna birgima cikin kullu ba. "Akwai kuskuren cewa ko dai ba mu da matsuguni ko kuma muna jefa kusan ɗaruruwa, amma wannan ba lallai ba ne gaskiya," in ji Shakti. "Akwai masu yin jima'i da yawa waɗanda ke matsakaicin matsayi."

Yaya Ya Kamata Kasance Dominatrix?

Yana da shakka daban -daban fiye daDauri koEuphoria baka da imani. Don masu farawa, waɗannan nunin na iya ba da shawarar ProDommes ba za su iya kasancewa cikin alaƙar lafiya/ƙauna ba. A gaskiya, karya ne. "Da yawa daga cikin mu suna iya kula da alaƙar da ke tsakanin aikin mu!" In ji Jean. "Haka ne, wani lokacin aikinmu yana yin wahala saboda muna buƙatar abokan haɗin gwiwa waɗanda ke fahimta da tallafawa aikinmu, amma tabbas yana yiwuwa." Yayin da wasu lokuta ProDommes suma Dommes ne a cikin dangantakar su ta soyayya / jima'i IRL, "wasu kuma masu sauyawa ne, masu biyayya, ko vanilla a cikin rayuwarsu ta ainihi," in ji Shakti. (Ma'ana, suna iya fifita yin watsi da iko wani lokaci ko koyaushe, ko kuma su fi son rayuwar jima'i ba tare da wani kink ko BDSM ba.)

Bayan haka, Paige ta raba cewa kasancewar ƙwararriyar Dominatrix ta inganta rayuwarta sosai."Ya taimaka min in sami ƙarfina kuma in mallaki kaina da yawa ta hanyoyi fiye da yadda zan iya kirgawa," in ji ta. "Kuma da yawa daga cikin basira da gogewa da na samu daga kasancewa Dominatrix, na iya amfani da su a kowane bangare na rayuwata ... Ni mutum ne mafi kyau wanda zai iya rayuwa mai niyya. rayuwa sakamakon zama Dominatrix." (Gaskiya ne: Kinky Jima'i na iya sa ku ƙarin hankali.)

Ƙarshen ƙasa: Paige ta ce "Mutane da yawa ba su da gatan kasancewa cikakke kuma na gaske tare da muradinsu a ko'ina cikin rayuwarsu," in ji Paige. "Yayin da, a, kasancewa Dominatrix na iya haɗawa da duk abubuwan wasan kwaikwayo na bulala da sarƙoƙi da kuke gani a talabijin, yana da gaskiya game da haɗin gwiwa, yarda, da ƙirƙirar catharsis. Wani abu da muke bukata a cikin wannan mahaukaciyar duniya, "in ji ta. Gaskiya ne.

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