Wannan Amsar da Tinder Survivor ta Tinder tayi ya Bace. Amma Akwai Moreari ga Labarinta

Wadatacce

• Abin takaici, Jared ya yanke shawarar watsi da darussan da aka bayar kuma ya ninka sau biyu maimakon.
• Shekarunta 25 ne kawai a lokacin kuma, a fahimta, ba ta ɗauka nan da nan tana da cutar kansa ba.
• "Sannan kuma na iya gaya wa kaina, 'Ku miƙe tsaye - {textend} har yanzu kuna ciki.'"
• Saduwa-mai hikima, kuma, tana hangen gaba - {textend} amma ba za ta sake yin sulhu da kanta don dangantaka ba.

“Ka san menene, Jared? Amsar tambayar ku ita ce a'a. Ba ni da wani ‘t * ts’ kwata-kwata. ”

Sanannen abu ne cewa saduwa ta yanar gizo na iya haifar da mummunan ɗabi'a mai ban tsoro - {textend} mutane a cikin alaƙar da ke nuna kamar ba su da aure, lookingan damfara masu neman kuɗi, lambunku na alfarma iri-iri.

A watan Yuli, Krista Dunzy mai shekaru 26 da ta tsira daga cutar sankarar mama ta gamu da rashin mutunci da rashin kyan gani daga wani "wasa" a cikin kalmominsa na farko.

Wani saurayi mai suna Jared ya yanke shawarar cewa layin buɗewarsa zuwa Dunzy zai kasance, “Kin sami girma t * ts?”

Dunzy, wacce ke da aikin gyaran fuska sau biyu a matsayin wani bangare na maganin cutar kansa a shekarar da ta gabata, ta yanke shawarar kada ta bari ta tafi ba tare da saita Jared ba da kuma kokarin kirkirar lokacin da za a iya koyarwa.

“Ka san menene, Jared?” ta amsa. "Amsar tambayarku ita ce a'a. Ba ni da 'tsuntsaye' kwata-kwata. " Ta bayyana tarihin cutar kansa kuma ta bayyana yadda take ji - {textend} zagaye 16 na maganin cutar sankara da kuma wata hanya mai tsawon wata guda, baya ga tiyatar.

Ta hanyar @KristaDunzy akan Twitter.

Ta ce, "A yanzu haka ina da masu kara narkar da nama a kirji na," in ji ta, game da ci gaba da aikin sake fasalin bayan gida, "za a sauya ta tare da sanya abubuwa a hanya. Shin kuna da ra'ayin yadda zan karanta wannan sakon daga gare ku? "

“Don Allah ka yi tunani a kan abubuwa kafin ka faɗe su,” in ji ta. "Ina fata idan kuna da 'ya, ba za ta taɓa samun saƙo irin waɗannan ba."

Abin takaici, Jared ya yanke shawarar watsi da darussan da aka bayar kuma ya ninka sau biyu maimakon.

Ya kira Dunzy "wawa" da "mahaukaci," yana mai da'awar bai karanta sakonta ba, yana ba ta shawarar "ta daina yin kamar mata," sannan ya kara da cewa, "Na sanya dokokina" - {textend} wani abu da, a kan a gefe guda, a fili bai so Dunzy ta nemi haƙƙinta ta yi ba.

A wannan lokacin, Dunzy ya isa. Tana kallon hotunan musayar don tallan jama'a akan Facebook, tana ƙarfafa wasu su raba shi kuma suna ƙirƙirar maɓallin #dontdatejared.

Matsayinta ya zama mai yaduwa kuma an raba shi sama da sau 2,000.

"Wasu mutane sun ce da ni," Tinder ne. Me kuke tsammani? '”Dunzy ya tuna. Amsar ita ce, Ina tsammanin ɗa'a ta kowa ce. Bai kamata ku tambayi kowa haka ba. Ya kamata dukkanmu mu kula da mutane fiye da haka. ”

Ta kara da cewa idan da Jared ya gabatar da “gaisuwa” ta budewa amma sai ya ja da baya bayan ta amsa, ita ma da ta bar maganar ta huta.

"A gaskiya, ba ma layin budewarsa ba ne ya sa nake son yin hakan," in ji ta. “Martanin nasa ne ga abin da na fada masa. Zai iya barin komai duka bayan na amsa, amma ya ƙi. ”

Kasancewa tare da Dunzy don tattaunawa game da lokacinta a cikin kwayar cutar, mun gano wata budurwa mai hikima fiye da shekarunta, tare da zurfin cewa wannan 'Jared episode' zai iya nunawa kawai.

Dunzy Ba'amurke 'Yar Asalin - {textend} memba ce ta Muscogee Creek Nation, a Oklahoma. Tana aiki a hedkwatar Tribe a Okmulgee, Oklahoma, a matsayin mai karɓar baƙi a cikin shirin Rigakafin Rikicin Iyali. Shirin yana taimaka wa Nan andasar da nonan asalin ƙasar a cikin yanayin tashin hankalin gida, cin zarafin yara, da cin zarafin mata.

Dunzy ya ce: "Ni kaina na fuskanci tashin hankali na gida da cin zarafin mata, don haka yin aiki a nan shi ne mafi mahimmanci a gare ni. Ta hanyar aikina, Na koyi cewa kashi 84.3% na matan ativean Asalin suna fuskantar cin zarafin su a rayuwarsu. . . wannan wani yanayi ne da ya zama dole mu canza shi gaba daya. ”

Kodayake an gwada ta ba daidai ba saboda sanannun maye gurbi wanda ke haifar da haɗarin cutar sankarar mama, Dunzy yana da tarihin iyali na cutar. Mahaifiyarta ta yi fama da cutar sankarar mama shekaru da yawa da suka gabata, kuma wani dan uwanta ya mutu daga cutar.

Dunzy ta ce: "Ta rasu shekara guda da kwana daya kafin a gano ta,"

Ganewar mahaifiyarsa ya sa Dunzy yin canje-canje masu mahimmanci a rayuwarta. Tana zaune tare da abokin zama shekara daya da rabi lokacin da mahaifiyarta ta sami labarin, amma dangantakar ta kasance mai zagi.

"An gano mahaifiyata, kuma a cikin mako guda zuwa biyu na fita," Dunzy ya tuna. “Na fahimci na bashi ne ga mahaifiyata. Ina bukatar na tsaya wa kaina, kamar yadda ta koya min. ”

Dangane da tarihin iyalinta, likitocin Dunzy sun ba ta shawarar yin gwajin kai tsaye na nono. Ofayan waɗannan ya haifar da gano cutar kansa a ƙirjinta na dama.

"Ina kwance a gado wata dare kuma na ji kamar ina bukatar yin wannan, ana bukatar dubawa," in ji ta. "Kuma na sami dunƙulen."

Shekarunta 25 ne kawai a lokacin kuma, a fahimta, ba ta ɗauka nan da nan tana da cutar kansa ba.

"Na jira makonni don yin komai game da shi," in ji ta. “Ina yin tunani ne, da sanin cewa wasu abubuwa ne. Amma sai na gaya wa mahaifiyata, ita kuma ta gaya min a sarari - {textend} da yawa sun umurce ni - {textend} kada in jira don a duba shi. ”

Da zarar Dunzy ya saita ƙafafun, sai abubuwa su yi sauri: Kwanaki 5 ne kawai tsakanin ganawa da likitanta game da dunkulewarta da kuma gano cutar kansa, a watan Maris na 2018.

Bayan haka, kodayake, wani lokacin jira ya zama kamar Dunzy da likitocinta suna bin cikakkun bayanai game da binciken.

"Mafi munin bangare shi ne rashin sanin cututtukata da matakin da nake ciki," in ji ta. "Na jira mako guda kafin in ji hakan."

Bayan ƙarin bincike da gwaje-gwaje, likitoci sun gaya mata cewa cutar kansa ita ce mataki na 2 kuma tabbatacce ne ga masu karɓar estrogen (wanda aka “rura wutar” ta estrogen, wanda zai shafi shawarwarin maganin da Dunzy zai samu).

Da zarar ta fara chemo, Dunzy ta sami tunaninta sau da yawa zuwa ƙaunataccen ƙawanta, wanda cutar kansa ta yanke rayuwarsa.

"Na ji daɗa sosai da ita, kusa da ita," in ji ta. “Na yi tunani game da abin da ta shiga. Ya kasance a cikin wata hanya sosai sosai, kuma na ruhaniya. Abubuwa na sama sun ɓace. Na ga kaina a mafi karancin yanayi, tare da kwace sosai - {textend} babu gashi, babu gashin ido ko gira.

"Sannan kuma na iya gaya wa kaina, 'Ku miƙe tsaye - {textend} har yanzu kuna ciki.'"

Kamar yadda ya saba faruwa da matsalar rashin lafiya, wasu kawancen Dunzy sun karfafa ta fuskar wahalar da ta sha, yayin da wasu kuma suka fadi.

"Ciwon daji ya kawo mini tunani mai yawa," in ji ta, "kuma ana samun hangen nesa ta hanyar gogewa. Wasu mutane sun kasance masu kyau a kowane mataki. Wasu ba su iya magance shi da gaske ba. ”

Ba tare da la'akari da yadda kowa ya amsa ba, dangantakar Dunzy da kanta ta ƙarfafa ƙwarai da sanin ta. "Na san kaina fiye da yadda wasu suke sanin kansu a kowane zamani," in ji ta.

Game da rayuwa ta gaba, burin Dunzy na kan ta ne da al'ummarta.

Ta yi hutu a karatun boko bayan ta kammala makarantar sakandare amma tana son ci gaba da ita. "Ina so in koma makaranta in ci gaba da yi wa kabilaina aiki," in ji ta. “Ina so in taimakawa wasu mata. Ina so in yi amfani da ilimina da kuma tausayin na in taimaki wasu. ”

Saduwa-mai hikima, kuma, tana hangen gaba - {textend} amma ba za ta sake yin sulhu da kanta don dangantaka ba.

Kuma ga Dunzy, wannan yana nufin ba kawai tsayawa ga "Jareds" na duniya ba, amma yana fitowa daga wurin son kai, ba tare da la'akari da yadda wasu suka karɓe ta ba.

"Manufata ita ce ta kasance ba ni da fahimta," in ji ta. “A ƙarshe, zan yi farin ciki idan na auri wani babban abokina kuma ya sami iyali. Amma da farko ina so in kara sanin kaina. ”

Lokacin da masifar da ta fuskanta na barazanar rufe mata rayuwa ta yanzu da kuma nan gaba, Dunzy na kokarin saduwa da su kai-tsaye.

"Ina jin kunya game da saduwa, saboda abubuwan da na sani a baya," in ji ta. "Amma kuma ina samun farin ciki da kyau a cikin komai, a wani bangare saboda duk abubuwan dana samu."

Kuma bayan duk abin da ta jimre, ƙarfin jurinta ya haskaka.

“Ina girmama kaina,” in ji ta, “har ma lokacin da wani bai girmama shi ba.”

Pamela Rafalow Grossman na zaune kuma tana rubutu a Brooklyn, New York. An buga aikinta a cikin "Muryar Kauyen," Salon.com, "Ms." mujallar, Time.com, Self.com, da sauran kantuna. Tana da shekaru 11 da ta tsira daga cutar kansar nono kuma tana aiki a cikin kungiyoyin bayar da shawarwari masu haƙuri.