Shawarwari 13 na Al'aura don Zaman Zaman Zuciya

Wadatacce

• 1. Fensir a ciki.
• 2. De-stress kafin.
• 3. Dauki kallo.
• 4. Sanya kwanan wata don kanka.
• 5. Lube sama.
• 6. Zuba jari a cikin wani vibrator.
• 7. Mayar da hankali kan ƙananan nau'ikan jin daɗi.
• 8. Ka sanya mafarkinka na datti.
• 9. Binciko fasahar batsa.
• 10. Kula da dukkan jikin ku.
• 11. Sannu a hankali.
• 12. Canja fasahar ku.
• 13. Numfashi.
• Bita don

Da kyau, yana da yuwuwar cewa kun taɓa kanku a da, koda kuwa kawai a cikin shawa a cikin lokacin binciken matasa. Abin da ake faɗi, yawancin mutanen da aka haife su da farji ba su san yadda ake yin al'aura ba, balle a zahiri su isa cikakkiyar O da kansu.

Kuma da kyau, wani ɓangare na dalilin shine irin ɓacin rai. "Al'umma tana koya wa mata cewa jin daɗin ta yana da mahimmanci kawai a cikin yanayin ba da jin daɗin abokin tarayya namiji-kuma wannan ba gaskiya bane. Jin daɗin kai yana ɗaya daga cikin abubuwan ƙarfafawa da tsattsauran ra'ayi da mace zata iya yi a wannan duniyar," in ji Rena McDaniel, M.Ed., masanin ilimin jima'i a Chicago.

Koyan yadda ake yin al'aura na iya haɓaka kwarin gwiwa da jin daɗin kanku. Amma ba haka bane: Hakanan yana iya taimaka muku gano abin da kuke yi kuma ba ku so da kanku, wanda, bi da bi, zai iya sauƙaƙa muku jin daɗi - kuma a zahiri tashi - tare da abokin tarayya (ko biyu ... ko uku ... duk abin da ke shawagi jirgin ku!). (Kuma kar ku manta game da fa'idodin lafiyar al'aura na al'aura, suma.)

Kuma idan ba ku taɓa kanku ba a cikin shekaru (wataƙila tun lokacin da kuka yi aure ko haihuwa), to kuna iya buƙatar sabon darasi kan yadda ake yatsar kanku, kuma - wanda, BTW, al'ada ce. "Jikunanmu suna girma, suna canzawa, suna canzawa akan lokaci, kuma al'aura tana iya zama hanyar tuntuɓar juna da sanin jikinmu da jin daɗin mu," in ji Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D., masanin zamantakewar al'umma da alaƙa da mai ba da shawara a cikin San Diego.

Idan baku taɓa samun sa'a tare da zaman solo ba, ku tuna: Babu wanda ke samun buguwa bayan tafiya ɗaya zuwa motsa jiki. Da zarar ka yi shi, za ka koyi ba kawai yadda ake al'aura ba har ma da yadda ake yin al'aura don ka, in ji Emily Morse, likitan ilimin jima'i kuma mai watsa shirye-shiryen podcast Yin jima'i da Emily. "Ka yi tunani kamar aikin gida, sai dai jarrabawar ƙarshe ta fi daɗi."

A gefe guda, wataƙila kun riga kun san takamaiman abubuwan motsawa (gami da ainihin yadda ake yatsa da kanku) don ba da tabbacin ƙarshen kowane lokaci. Amma ko da hanyar gwada-da-gaskiyar ku tana aiki kamar fara'a, bayan lokaci wannan al'ada na iya fara jin ɗanɗano, da kyau, na yau da kullun.

Anan, takamaiman matakai don sanya zamanku na farko (ko na farko a cikin ɗan lokaci) nasara - ko kuma idan kuna son fita daga ruɗin jima'i kawai.

1. Fensir a ciki.

"Idan kuka kara yin hakan, zai kasance da sauƙin kutsawa cikin waɗannan shingaye kuma ku ji daɗin al'aurar al'aura," in ji Morse. Kuna jin kamar ba ku da lokaci? Sanya shi akan kalandar ku, in ji ta. McDaniel ya yarda, ya kara da cewa, "Muna yin lokaci don abubuwan da ke da mahimmanci a gare mu. Ka ba wa kanka izinin yin amfani da lokaci don jin daɗin kan ka." (Mai Dangantaka: Dalilin da yasa Kuna Iya Fargabar Yanka Kanku - da Yadda Za a shawo kan sa)

2. De-stress kafin.

"Matsi na iya zama daya daga cikin manyan masu kashe sha'awar jima'i na mace, don haka koyan kwantar da hankali da kwantar da hankali yana daya daga cikin mafi kyawun motsa jiki da za ku iya kwarewa," in ji Morse.

Gaskiya ne: Abubuwan motsa jiki na jima'i na mata sun fi damuwa da damuwa fiye da na maza, ma'ana za ku iya samun wahala lokacin jin dadi lokacin da kuke cikin mummunan yanayi, bisa ga bincike daga Cibiyar Nazarin Kinsey don Jima'i, Jinsi, da Haihuwa. . "Dabarar ita ce yin abubuwa don taimaka wa kanku ku shakata kuma ku rarrabu kafin kai har bedroom din ka. Motsa jiki, yi yawo, zana wa kanku wanka mai kyau kumfa, ko keɓe mintuna 15 don yin bimbini, "in ji Morse. , gano yadda za ku yatsa kanku gobe.

3. Dauki kallo.

"Samun kwanciyar hankali yana farawa tare da neman sani," in ji McDaniel. "Lokacin da kuka yi watsi da hukunci kai tsaye kuma ku kusanci al'aura tare da buɗe ido da son sani, yana taimaka muku samun kwanciyar hankali a cikin fata." Goodaya hanya mai kyau: Fara bincike. Gunsaullus yana ba da shawarar saita mai ƙidayar lokaci na mintuna 15 zuwa 20, ɗaukar madubin hannu, da kuma sanin ba kawai jin daɗi ba, har ma da yanayin sassan jima'i. "A hankali ku matsar da yatsun ku a kusa da jikin ku, ƙirjinku, ciki, cinyoyinku, da farjinku. Yi wasa da lebban ku, motsa su, zame yatsun ku sama da ƙasa - kawai ku ji jikin ku kamar baƙon da ke ziyartar sabuwar duniya, ”in ji ta.

4. Sanya kwanan wata don kanka.

Gunsaullus yana ba da shawarar wani abu da ta kira "al'aurar al'aurar tunani" - ta yin amfani da hankali da duk hankulan guda biyar don ƙirƙirar yanayi na soyayya, reno, da jin daɗi don kanka. Zana wa kanku wanka cike da kumfa da gilashin giya, kunna fitilun a cikin ɗakin kwana, kuma kunna 'yan kyandir - ƙirƙirar irin yanayin da za ku yi don abokin soyayya. (Kana son ƙarin jagora a kai? Duba jagorar gani na Gunsaullus.)

Kuna buƙatar ƙaramin haɓaka na batsa don sanya ku cikin yanayi? Gwada Kyakkyawan Vibrations Bayan Duhu, wani rukunin yanar gizon da ke da tarin tarin batsa masu son mata, yana ba da shawarar Morse. (Ko wannan: Sabon Batsa Wanda Zai Canza Rayuwar Jima'i)

5. Lube sama.

"Man shafawa yana kama da gishirin duniyar jima'i - yana da ikon sa komai ya ji daɗi (ko ɗanɗano) mafi kyau," in ji Morse. Nazarin ya daɗe yana nuna cewa ƙara lube zuwa soyayyar na iya haɓaka ƙima da jin daɗi sosai - kuma ana iya faɗi iri ɗaya don zaman solo, ya nuna McDaniel. "Lube na iya zama babban aboki don samun ƙarin jin daɗi tare da al'aura." Kawai yi amfani da digo don farawa da sake yin amfani da buƙata kamar yadda ake buƙata yayin da kuke ci gaba da tafiya-da-yatsa.

McDaniel yana ba da shawarar System JO Agape (Sayi Shi, $ 17, amazon.com), ruwan lebe da take so saboda an ƙera shi don kwaikwayon man shafawa na halitta ko Astroglide (Sayi Shi, $ 9, amazon.com), wata dabara ta ruwa lafiya ga kayan wasan jima'i. Don lubes na tushen silicone, Morse ya ba da shawarar Pjur (Sayi Shi, $ 20, walmart.com) ko luberlube (Sayi Shi, $ 29, amazon.com), waɗanda ke santsi kuma cikakke don wasan yatsa. Ko ta yaya, ku guji lubes na mai, wanda ke da wahalar tsaftacewa kuma yana iya lalata kwaroron roba da kayan wasan jima'i. (Kuma kada ku ji tsoron kawo lube a cikin ɓoyayyun abokan huldar ku - yana ɗaya daga cikin motsawa biyar zuwa orgasm yau da dare.)

6. Zuba jari a cikin wani vibrator.

"Daya daga cikin abokaina ba ta taba amfani da vibrator ba kafin in ba da shawarar ta saya. Ta yi min sakon waya da daddare tana cewa 'OMG. Ban ma sani ba,' "in ji McDaniel.

"Abu ne mai wuyar gaske cewa mata suna buƙatar motsa jiki don isa ga inzali, kuma ana sanya vibrators a duniyar nan saboda wannan dalili," in ji Morse. Idan kun kasance kuna amfani da yatsun hannu kawai, lokaci yayi da za ku bi da kanku: Lokacin da kuka shirya gwada abin wasa na jima'i, Morse yana ba da shawarar fara ƙarami. Bullet vibes kamar We-Vibe Tango (Sayi Shi, $ 60, amazon.com) ko Aljihun Rocket (Sayi Shi, $ 22, amazon.com) suna da ban mamaki don motsawar kusurwa, mai araha, da sauƙin amfani, tana bayarwa. Har ila yau, tana son samfuran Satisfyer, waɗanda ke amfani da kuzarin iska don kewayawa da cire ƙwanƙolin ku a maimakon taɓa shi kai tsaye, yana ba da ƙarin kuzari kai tsaye da ƙarfi.

7. Mayar da hankali kan ƙananan nau'ikan jin daɗi.

McDaniel ya ce "Duk jin daɗi jin daɗi ne." "Wannan yana iya zama a bayyane, amma galibi mata suna matsa lamba kan kansu don samun jin daɗin jinsi na musamman kafin da lokacin al'aura, wanda wani lokacin yana iya jin daɗi da tilastawa." Maimakon ku mai da hankali kan nau'in jin daɗi na bow-chica-wah-wah, gwada kawai ku ba da son rai. Yi wanka mafi zafi mafi zafi da mai, turare, da kyandirori; saurari kiɗan da ke sa ku murmushi; sanya tufafinku masu taushi; cin abinci mafi kyau; shiga hankalin ku. Ta kara da cewa, "Sau da yawa, wannan zai kunna cibiyoyin jin daɗin kwakwalwar ku kuma ya ba ku fifiko don ƙarin jin daɗi," in ji ta.

8. Ka sanya mafarkinka na datti.

"Tashin hankali yana farawa a cikin kan ku kuma yana aiki ƙasa," in ji Morse. "Idan hankalinku ya yi kyau kuma kun kunna, ba zai daɗe ba har sai sauran jikinku ya bi sahu." Don samun wannan babban kwakwalwar sexy a kan jirgin, fara fantasive. "Ka yi tunanin mafi kyawun kwarewar jima'i ka sake maimaita ta a cikin kai, ko kuma bari zuciyarka ta yi yawo da gamuwa da baƙo mai sexy-duk abin da zai taimaka maka cikin yanayi." Kuma ku tuna, tunanin ku ne. Babu wanda ya san abin da ke cikin kan ku in ban da ku, don haka babu buƙatar jin kunya ko laifi kan abin da ke haska wutar ku. (Abin sha'awa ya isa, wasu mata suna amfani da BDSM a matsayin nau'i na farfadowa.)

9. Binciko fasahar batsa.

Ganin cewa maza sun fi son kallon batsa tare da ainihin ma'amala, mata sun fi kunna su ta hanyar shirye -shiryen batsa da labari mai ma'ana, wanda ke sanya yanayi, in ji wani bincike a cikin Jaridar Duniya ta Binciken Rashin Ƙarfi. Kuma ku tuna, yayin da batsa ke satar wasan kwaikwayo idan ya zo ga kayan al'aura, akwai duniyar fasahar batsa a can. "Wasu mutane suna kunna gaske ta hanyar alamu na gani, wasu ta hanyar magana ko rubuce-rubuce, wasu suna ɓacewa a cikin kyakkyawan ra'ayi. Gwaji tare da wane matsakaici, da kuma irin nau'in abun ciki, yana samun motar ku, "in ji McDaniel. (BTW, idan kuna mamakin "yaya kuke yatsan kanku?" Kuna iya karantawa kan yadda ake yin kowane nau'in wasan hannu daban -daban.)

10. Kula da dukkan jikin ku.

Duk jikinku yana da ikon jin daɗi, in ji Gunsaullus, don haka ku tafi ɗan bincika ƙasa. "Ka ɗauki hannunka ko abin wasan kwaikwayo ka motsa shi a kusa da cinyoyinka na ciki, dukan al'aurar waje, har ma da ciki da nonuwa idan kana so," in ji ta. Kimiyya na iya ba ku alamar ta inda za ku fara: Gwada taɓawa a wuya, hannu, da gefen farji (gefen farji mafi kusa da dubura) da matsewa da rawar jiki a kan nonuwa da ƙwanƙwasa-duk waɗannan wasu kaɗan ne. mafi girman matsayi na farin ciki a cikin binciken a cikin Jaridar Magungunan Jima'i. Amma taɓa komai kuma ku koya da kanku, ku mai da hankali ga irin jin daɗi da matsin lamba yana jin daɗi a gare ku, in ji Gunsaullus. Shawarar Pro: Kayan wasa irin su Je Joue's Mimi Soft (Sayi Shi, $ 89, amazon.com) yana da kyau ga wannan tunda duk saman yana da taushi da rawar jiki.

11. Sannu a hankali.

Mutane da yawa suna fatan abokin tarayya zai ciyar da lokaci mai yawa akan wasan kwaikwayo - don haka kada ku hanzarta abubuwa tare da kanku. Tafi sau uku a hankali fiye da yadda kuke tsammani ya kamata, in ji Morse. "Al'aura yana da yawa game da tafiya kamar yadda aka nufa." Ɗauki lokaci don bincika dukkan sassan jikinka - daga wuyanka har zuwa cinyoyinka na ciki - kafin ka shiga don idon bijimin. Kula da abin da ke jin daɗi, mafi kyau, kuma mafi kyau, kuma ba da damar waɗannan abubuwan jin daɗi su gina. Sakamakon zai dace da jira.

12. Canja fasahar ku.

Bambanci shine abin da ke haɓaka jima'i - har ma da irin da kuke da kanku, in ji Morse. Idan ba ku canza bugun jini ko saurin ku ba tun lokacin da kuka fara koyon yadda ake yin al'aura ko yadda ake yatsar hannu musamman, yanzu lokaci ya yi.Misali, idan galibi kuna bugun kanku a cikin siginar diagonal-motsa yatsunku a kan gindin ku daga gefe zuwa gefe-gwada canza dabarun bugun ku ta hanyar shafa shi ta amfani da motsi sama da ƙasa maimakon. Wani zaɓi: Yi amfani da yatsa ɗaya don gano da'ira a kusa da ƙwanƙolin ku ba tare da taɓa shi kai tsaye ba, in ji Morse. Ƙarshen jijiyoyi har yanzu za a iya motsa su a kaikaice, wanda ke taimakawa haɓaka yawan tashin hankali da jin daɗi kafin ku ma dagewa akan abin jin daɗin ku.

13. Numfashi.

"Za ku yi mamakin yadda mata da yawa suka kama cikin abin da hannayensu suke yi har su manta da numfashi. Mai da hankali kan numfashin ku yana gina dangantaka mai zurfi a jikin ku, kuma yana taimaka muku ku guje wa duk wani tunani mai ban sha'awa kamar 'Ina yi. wannan dama?' ko 'Shin har yanzu muna can?' "in ji Morse. Yana da sauƙi: Kawai mayar da hankalin ku akan shakar ku da numfashi - jikinku zai yi sauran. (Yi la'akari da kunna cikin numfashin ku tare da waɗannan dabarun aikin numfashi guda uku.)

Bita don